Questions

Catholic Martyr, Actually

Female coworker #1: What did you do at the tailgate party?
Male coworker: I just started playing beanbags with some random people.
Female coworker #2: Hey, have you ever heard of a game called Redneck Horseshoes? It’s sort of like beanbags.
Male Coworker: No, I haven’t heard of it.
Female Coworker #2: Oh, it must just be a Missouri thing.
Female Coworker #1: That’s sounds more like a Missour-ah thing.
Female coworker #2: Missour-ah…where’s that?
Female coworker #1: You know. Everything that’s not St. Louis.
Female coworker #2: Is that a state, or a city or something?

West Monroe Street
Chicago, Illinois

When Bible Story Re-Enactments Go Awry

CFO: So what will it be like? Should I be the sheep and you the one who drags me around? Oh, here’s the check.

New York City, New York

Overheard by: just waiting for a check

But You’re Here

Black salesman: How do you know about that part of town?
White manager: Coz that’s where the bitches is at!

Kelso Drive
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: Anonymous Temp

Muscle Shirts Just Look Unfortunate on Him Now

Salesman: That man was crazy!
Architect: Was he gay?
Salesman: No, he’s too old to be gay!

Williamsburg, Virginia

Overheard by: Not too old

Oh Wait– It’s Winter There When It’s Summer Here, Right?

Young guy in office to crowd: Yeah, I spent all of last summer visiting Holland.
Only girl in office: Really? Oh my god, how was the fourth of July over there?
Guy and office: [silence].

18th Street
Denver, Colorado

Overheard by: Quiet Chuckler

When Season 5’s Lisa Peed in an Adult Diaper, the Show Forfeited Any Outside Chance at Glamour

Female staff: Oh man, I’m so into “America’s Next Top Model.” You know that show.
Male staff: Oh yes. Good quality programming.
Female staff: They were having this marathon on VH1 this weekend, like the whole last season all at once. I got so hooked. But I missed the last two or three episodes, so I don’t know who won it.
Male staff: That’s awful. You really don’t know? That was last season.
Female staff: No, I didn’t see the last few episodes.
Male staff: You mean to tell me that you don’t know who won last season’s “America’s Next Top Model”?
Female staff: I didn’t see the last episode?
Male staff: But you don’t recognize her from all of the glamorous advertisements and runway shows she’s been doing?
Female staff: Well, no, I… Oh. You’re being sarcastic.
Male staff: For minutes now.

10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston-Salem, North Carolina

You Probably Think This Quote Is about You

Co-worker to boss: You wanna hear how self-centered I am?
Boss: Please!

Los Angeles, California

Just Answer the Question, Miss

Nurse, screening for life insurance: So tell me about your siblings…
Male worker: Well, I have 3 sisters, two older and one who’s a twin. I’m the youngest by two minutes.
Nurse: Oh, really? You have a twin sister? Are you identical?
Male worker: Are you serious? You’re a professional nurse and you’re asking me if I’m identical to my twin sister? Is this screening over because I’ve got work to do.

Tacoma, Washington

Overheard by: Stan Green

Or Who Takes Magic Mushrooms. Whatever.

Editor: I want a story about a person.
Intern: What kind?
Editor: Oh, I don’t know. But it could be a lollipop man, who straps a rocket to the back of his lollipop, and now flies to New York in five seconds.

Edinburgh
Scotland

I Need to Know Whether Asking Murphy* Out Will Require Tapping My Foot in a Bathroom Stall

Man: Is Murphy* a man? Or a woman?
Woman: Does it matter?
Man: Um yeah. I was going to ask Terry out, and the shape of his? Her? Genitals rather matters to me.
Woman: Bigot.

Church in Victoria
British Columbia
Canadia

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