Office manager: I finally got pants on my monkey. But his tail won’t go through the hole.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Office manager: I finally got pants on my monkey. But his tail won’t go through the hole.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Designer: Do you ever wonder if some of the girls here were hired for their looks? Oh, I’m not talking about you — I know you were hired because you’re a good writer.
312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio
Worker: I like my shirt, but I’m afraid my boobs are going to fall out. Which would be fine somewhere else, but not here. That’s how I feel about all my clothes: “great for not here.”
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Co-worker #1: So how’s your belly button?
Co-worker #2: Um…it’s okay.
Co-worker #1: You know my dad’s scar looks like he has 3 belly buttons.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah? Well, my friend’s isn’t even in the right place. It’s like way down here.
Intern #1: So it’s like she has a extra vag?
Intern #2: This is like the weirdest thing I’ve heard at work.
600 Water Street SW
Washington, DC
Overheard by: ADS
Junior Partner: I’m leaving at noon today because I think I put my underwear on backwards this morning.
Senior Partner: I really don’t know how to respond to that.
319 West Woodlawn Avenue
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Tuck Tabler
Partner #1: The real cute one?
Partner #2: Yeah.
Partner #1: Yeah, she’s married.
Partner #2: Damn it!
Partner #3: That’s how I like ’em. cute, and married.
222 Severn Avenue
Annapolis, Maryland
Overheard by: Tits McGee
Receptionist: What did you think of that visiting speaker? He was kinda cute!
Engineer: What a dork!
Receptionist: So he was a dork by dork standards? Wow!
ASU Engineering Center
Tempe, Arizona
Receptionist: What are the new shirts made out?
Clerk: They’re 100% cotton.
Receptionist: Cotton? That’s the stuff that grows on sheep, right?
Clerk: No, cotton comes from rabbits. That’s why they’re called cottontails.
10 Miles South of Battle Mountain
Battle Mountain, Nevada
Co-worker #1: Didn’t you wear that shirt two days ago?
Co-worker #2: Huh? What? I don’t know…
Co-worker #1: Yeah, I remember you had that sweater on a couple of days back.
Co-worker #2: Did you look that up on www.victoriaknowswhateveryonewears.com? Oh wait, it kicks back to another site, www.gofuckyourselfvictoria.com.
460 West 34th Street
New York, NY
Co-worker: Okay, thanks…Hey…Are you wearing white pants? Wow. You are. This is like…some kind of day. I never seen a man wearing white dress pants here before.
350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
