Physical Appearance

Spikey-haired waiter: I'll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It's a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.

Des Moines, Iowa

Young attorney #1: I look like an old woman in this coat.
Young attorney #2: Maybe a slutty old woman.
Young attorney #1: I wish I was a slutty old woman.

Norristown, Pennsylvania

Exec: Nobody walks around in culottes unless there’s something important going on.

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Woman on phone with client: Let me put this to you another way: you pay for four hours with a whore. You buy her a catsuit. At the end of that time, you don't own the whore. You may still retain the catsuit but what good will that do you, since you're a 45-year-old balding fat guy? You might as well leave the catsuit with the whore.

Defense Contractor
Andover, Massachusetts

Male coworker to another: I'd love to see pictures of you as a child. Or, better yet, video.

New Haven, Connecticut

Overheard by: Derek

Woman, matter-of-factly, to male associate: Micropenis.

Time Warner Building, Columbus Circle
New York City, New York

Overheard by: jt & lc

Chief: Tom's got it all wrong. Most of the gay men I meet are eloquent, they're fit, into the arts. Tom's none of this things. He's fat, he's got a mass of body hair, bad breath…it's like he's only gay in his brain.

Stroudsburg, Pennsylvania

Female CS manager: So I'm talking to this guy, and he goes “so you're the supervisor huh, I bet you've got a fat ass.”
Female assistant: I remember that, I was still back here then.
Female CS manager: I was like “oh my god, is he looking in the window?”

Delran, New Jersey

Overheard by: Bruce Banner

Peon #1: Jimmmy, you got a haircut. Very aerodynamic.
Peon #2: I sure did. All the better for walking quickly down the hallway!


Overheard by: JWa