Interns & Temps

3PM Rachel’s Birthday Thing

Boss: Those cupcakes are delicious. What a sugar rush!
Intern: I broke out in hives.
Boss: In hives?
Intern: A rash. My skin is very sensitive.
Boss: To sugar?
Intern: Yup.
Boss: That’s amazing.
Intern: When I was a kid I got sick and I had to have, like, ten X-rays a day. Literally, five X-rays a day. And I think that messed up my photons.
Boss: Your photons?
Intern: Yeah, that’s how X-rays work, you know? They reverse your photons. That’s how they get the image.
Boss: Oh.
Intern: That’s why my skin is so sensitive, because they messed up the photons. They won’t admit it, because they don’t want me to sue them. But I know what’s up.

10 Rockefeller Plaza
New York, NY

Overheard by: pixelvisions

On the Other Hand, She Is a Bandit

Director: I feel so bad for Sarah!
Intern: Who?
Director: Sarah, from [xyz] Corp! She got fired!
Intern: Oh, that's terrible.
Director: I feel so bad! And she only has one arm!

New York City, New York

Shouldn’t We at Least Try to Cater to the Semi-Literate?

Intern: So do any celebrities subscribe to our magazine?
Circulation guru: Actually, James Caan and Shirley MacLaine are longtime subscribers. Even Dennis Hopper got our mag for awhile.
Intern (sighing): I mean like real celebrities. You know: Tila Tequila or Zac Efron…

Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: ugh.

The Kids Were Playing in Them Again

Intern: I've found the body bags!

Greenville, South Carolina

And I Don't Think That's How They Get Snakeskin Boots

Intern #1: Ew, skin falls off!
Intern #2: Leprosy's no joke, you guys.

Fashion Magazine
Manhattan, New York

And By “More Pull” I Mean Exactly What You Think I Mean

Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.

Bellingham, Washington

How Far in Advance Do You Think I Need to Book My Tickets?

Intern: So, why aren't people making a big deal about the Mars Lander?
Busy office worker: I don't know.
Intern: Do you know many people who are on board?

Indiana

I Have to Go Change My Pants

Intern: Lou* just said he really likes my sense of humor! He said I’m self-defecating! Can you believe it? Lou thinks I’m self-defecating — he thinks I sit in my own shit! Lou’s so cool.
Lou, two cubes away: I said ‘self-deprecating,’ you idiot.
Intern: Oh.

6707 Democracy Boulevard
Bethesda, Maryland

Overheard by: One cubicle over

…With My Head Up My Butt and All.

Sous chef, passing behind inept intern: Behind you.
(intern backs into him)
Sous chef: Uh, hey…
Intern: I didn't know which direction you were coming from!

Vermont

Overheard by: I know front from back

Our Ancestors Were Hunters, You Know

Male intern #1: Was she hot?
Male intern #2: She had a huge rack.
Female intern: (laughs)
Male intern #1: What? Are boobs funny now?
Female intern: No, he just didn't really answer the question.
Male intern #2: Yeah, I did. He basically said “would you do her?” and I said “yeah.”
Female intern: No, I mean, if you just saw her face, would you say she was pretty?
Male intern #2: If I saw just her face?
Female intern: Yeah.
Male intern #2: I wouldn't recognize her.

Des Moines, Iowa

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