Valley girl: I could not believe it — they were showing her vah-jay-jay over and over.
Office bathroom, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Valley girl: I could not believe it — they were showing her vah-jay-jay over and over.
Office bathroom, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Supervisor: You were loud.
Underling: We were just talking.
Supervisor: You were screaming.
Underling: Well, we always scream.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Coworker #1: Did you drive or take the train today?
Coworker #2: Train.
Coworker #1: What time are you leaving?
Coworker #2: I don’t know…
Coworker #1: Oh, I think I’m leaving before that.
Office building, 47th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Indian woman: I gave my 11-year-old son his introduction to sex last night.
White woman: Uh… What did you do with him?
Indian woman: I explained to him everything he needed to know. It’s part of our traditions.
White woman: You explained to him about orgasms, and where the clitoris is?
Indian woman: Oh, yes, and I was quite surprised to find out how much he already knew.
White woman: Such as…?
Indian woman: He told me he knew what the G-spot was, and how to find it.
White woman: Where would an 11-year-old boy learn about things like that?
Indian woman: From his friends. Many of them have sisters and mothers who they have seen in the nude.
White woman: Well, uh, good luck.
DMV office
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Old coworker: You don’t know anything about the Beatles.
Young coworker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Shaun G
Employee digging for appropriate giveaway for children’s project: Let’s see what we got… Oooh, a grenade! Kids love grenades!
Noho
New York, New York
Client: Is it North or South of Route 24?
Manager: Well, that depends on where you’re coming from.
Client: Oh, really? How does that work?
Huntington, New York
Phone rep: Yes, Jerry* is here. Would you like me to punch him?
915 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Sarah R
Values trainer, on being equal opportunity employer: … And, just so you know, the Midwest office gave an offer to a paraplegic last month. He’s paralyzed from the neck down — can’t move anything below the neck. So there’s a great example of the firm walking the talk.
55 East 52nd Street
New York, New York
Waitress #1: I can’t tuck this corner. I suck at folding napkins.
Waitress #2: We should just make a monopoly line with this.
Waitress #1: [Stares blankly.]Waitress #2: You know, a monopoly line? I’ll start it, you finish it. We’ll get this done faster.
34 Cooper Square
New York, New York
