Lady peon: Okay, who put these condoms on my desk?
101 West 31st Street
New York, New York
Lady peon: Okay, who put these condoms on my desk?
101 West 31st Street
New York, New York
Male cube rat: I need a word that rhymes with ‘vaginal.’
Female cube rat #1: Why?
Male cube rat: I’m writing a poem.
Female cube rat #1: What kind of poem has the word ‘vaginal’ in it?
Male cube rat: Don’t interrogate me. Just help me out.
Female cube rat #2: This poem isn’t about me, is it?
Male cube rat: I’ll bet Alfred Lord Tennyson didn’t have to put up with a bunch of fucking questions.
Insurance company
Melville, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Product manager: So, it’s a win-win situation, but without the wins.
70 East 55th Street
New York, New York
Worker #1: See this article on how ice makes you gain weight?
Worker #2: That’s so true, because if you drop an ice cube in your stomach it has to melt before it can be absorbed.
Staten Island
New York
Friendly worker guy: Hey, you guys — I just took one sip of this energy drink and I don’t really want it. Does anyone want it? [No one answers. A few minutes later] Hey, you guys — there is a lot of turkey on this sandwich. Does anyone want some?
Normal worker guy: Hey, you guys — I’ve had this peanut M&M in my mouth for four days. Does anyone want it?
12th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: social
Female worker to another: I was gonna show you something. You wanna go to the ladies’ room?
Seneca Street
Ithaca, New York
Overheard by: MonkeyPantaloons
Assistant: Keith*, Melanie’s* on the phone.
Keith: Who is that?
Assistant: Your wife.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Admin assistant: I hear that Jay-Z and Beyoncé actually have an open relationship.
India-Indian boss: Well, it is no surprise since she does not want to get married.
Admin assistant: I guess you’re right.
India-Indian boss: I mean, why buy the milk when that cow is just outside?
685 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thrax
Secretary: Did Taryn* come back from the doctor’s?
Chart drone: Yeah, she said the doctor put a stiffener in her.
Secretary: Good, that will help her.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: phoenix, best analyst ever
