Peon: Uh, Jim*, do you have anywhere I can put a floppy dick? … Uh… Disk?
Jim: Niiice.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: defragment my hard-drive
Peon: Uh, Jim*, do you have anywhere I can put a floppy dick? … Uh… Disk?
Jim: Niiice.
Garden City, New York
Overheard by: defragment my hard-drive
Cashier to friend: One morning I woke up sober…
Clothing store
Houston Street
New York, New York
Drone #1: Hey, where were you Saturday night? The ladies were all up on this.
Drone #2: I went to a birthday party.
Drone #1: Hehehehe… What a dumb waste of time. Whose birthday party was it?
Drone #2: Mine.
Drone #1: Oh… Happy birthday.
377 South Oyster Bay Road
Plainview, New York
Overheard by: tonyg
Young woman: Do you want your patients to die?
Older woman: Well, that would be one approach.
Rochester, New York
Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.
420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.
125 West 55th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jean val Jean
Announcement over PA: If anyone has taken Maureen’s* K-Y Jelly, please return it immediately.
W 66th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: wondering why its needed
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
