Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.
420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York
Maintenance guy: You gotta get your key out real quick or they’re gonna swing an ax.
420 Western Avenue
Albany, New York
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.
125 West 55th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jean val Jean
Announcement over PA: If anyone has taken Maureen’s* K-Y Jelly, please return it immediately.
W 66th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: wondering why its needed
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Chick #1: Did you know that they’re making Coke kosher for Passover?
Chick #2: [Blank stare.]Chick #1: They’re putting sugar in it.
Chick #2: [Continues to stare.]Chick #1: Normally, it has corn syrup in it.
Chick #2: … Oh! The soda!
200 Varick Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Mardi
Senior manager: Hi, honey, how was your day?
Kid on speakerphone: If you were here, you’d know.
42nd Street and Madison Avenue
New York, New York
Boss: I was going to ask you to come in on Saturday, but then I realized what day it was and who you are, so never mind.
Mineola, New York
Intern on third day of work: This is probably something I should have asked the first day, but… where’s the men’s room?
Madison Avenue
New York, New York
