Speaker: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Attendee: Jumped off a bridge into a river in Fiji.
Speaker: Why’d you do that?
Attendee: ‘Cause Tony Robbins told me to.

481 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Agent #1: So, I see this girl, you know, in the grocery store. And she’s just this freak of a girl. A tall, thin freak. And it’s like this beam of light just descends on her, basking her in the smell of success. You know those moments?
Agent #2: The moments where you see tall, thin freaks?
Agent #1: Well, yeah — it’s like time stands still and you know you’ve just gotten the gold.
Agent #2: Yeah. It’s a religious experience.
Agent #1: Completely. Completely religious.

Outside DNA modeling agency, 5th Avenue
New York, New York

IT chick: Okay, okay, slow down… Your mouse isn’t working? [Pause] Ma’am… Ma’am, pick it up off the floor.

Internet domain registrar company
Scottsdale, Arizona

Receptionist on phone: Mom, there are no pictures of them in the paper. I don’t want to live in a decapitated house!

Lincoln Highway
Lancaster, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Assistant Girl

Senior consultant: Hey, what’s the difference between four and five?
Consultant: How am I getting paid less than you?

Waterloo, London

Overheard by: he said what I was thinking

Attorney on phone: Hi, sweetie. I’m going to come pick you up after school tomorrow to take you to your appointment… Well, Mommy was going to, but she’s too important to leave the office, and I’m not that important, so I can leave.

1 World Financial Center
New York, New York

Guy clerk: Hey, this safety pamphlet says to get into the bathtub if a tornado is coming.
Gal clerk: Well, duh, why don’t they just build houses shaped like giant bathtubs?

5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi

Overheard by: Brain Dancing

Customer service manager on personal call: You went to somebody’s funeral and sold purses?!

Chamblee, Georgia

Overheard by: achooAlison

Employee: Hello, and welcome to XYZ Store*. How are you today?
Suit: Um, I’m alright. How are you?
Employee, shrugging half-heartedly: I work at XYZ Store.
Suit: Oh, right. Sorry.

Electronics store
New York, New York

Overheard by: I’ll try and be nicer to them from now on

Musician on speaker: We are super-psyched, yo. It is huge for us.
Producer: You need to do this show, if you do this show you are going to blow up. Blow up like shit!

441 East 12th Street
New York, NY