New girl: I’m excited about the new direction of the company!
Boss: Um, we try to avoid saying ‘new direction’ around here.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Amused coworker
New girl: I’m excited about the new direction of the company!
Boss: Um, we try to avoid saying ‘new direction’ around here.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Amused coworker
Worker bee: So, there are seven categories, and each category has seven sections. Seven times seven is… a lot.
Mercer Street and Fairview Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: passed 3rd grade math
Cube rat on phone: Yeah, last year I did about 75 kids, and I’m hoping to do more this year.
University of Washington
Seattle, Washington
Boss pointing to bathroom stall: If you need me, I’ll be in my office, haha.
Employee: Um, I’m not gonna ask you anything while you’re taking a shit.
Boss: Oh, I’m not taking a shit. I’m just gonna sit in there and play Tetris on my phone.
Dexter Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Guy descending escalator: Every time I pull down my pants I look down and it’s like, ‘Oh! I forgot it was there.’
Pier 70
Seattle, Washington
Coworker: I bought some new gi-normous pearls — they’re like testicles!
1st Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Overheard by: Zoltarpanaflex
Quality manager: Well, why doesn’t it work?
Software manager: Because we didn’t write it that way.
Redmond, Washington
Copy chief: I’d rather see hooters than toe fungus any day.
2001 Lind Avenue SW
Renton, Washington
Female coworker: So, we have to keep the media room locked now, because the janitor is all upset about the mess the high school kids make.
Male coworker: What kind of mess?
Female coworker: He says they leave gum all over the floor.
Male coworker: What?! That’s so incredibly disgusting!
Female coworker, surprised: You think so?
Male coworker: Yes! I can’t believe it!
Female coworker: You never did anything like that when you were a teenager?
Male coworker, highly indignant: I certainly did not!
Female coworker: You never chewed gum and spat it out on the floor?
Male coworker: Oh… I thought you said ‘cum‘ on the floor…
Washington
Overheard by: juicy fruit
Coworker on phone: Quick, think of a biracial vegetable!
Seattle, Washington
