Co‐worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co‐worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co‐worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]@yahoo.com
Co‐worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.

1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Chris Shard

Employee accompanied by small child: I smashed it on the ground and then I hit it with a chair, and now it feels like it’s on fire. It’s not, but it feels that way.
Small child: (inaudible)
Employee: No, I don’t think any blood’s coming out.

Redmond, Washington

Coworker #1: So you saw her at church then, that is kinda cool.
Coworker #2: Yeah, because at least I know she isn’t out getting gang‐banged on a Sunday, which is nice.

Washington, DC

Overheard by: Professor Awesome

Cube rat #1: My mouse is being such a pain lately.
Cube rat #2: You should get one of those mouses that, y’know, doesn’t have a cord. Oh, man, what are those called, again?
Cube rat #1: Um, a cordless mouse?

Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: I work with monkeys

Man: *Erica, the phone’s for you.
Old coworker: What?
Man: It’s for *Erica!
Old man: Oh, ok. [picks up the phone] Hello?… Oh, hold on. [puts phone down] *Erica, the phone’s for you!

Washington Navy Yard
Washington, DC

Boss to intern: The gym is a great place for networking. You tend to have a bit more pull with your colleagues when you see them naked in the locker room every morning.

Bellingham, Washington

Worker #1: Every time I kiss her, she tries to stick her tongue in my mouth.
Worker #2: What’s wrong with that?
Worker #1: I just don’t think it’s appropriate. She is married, after all.

Seattle, Washington

Dispatcher, deciding whether to continue an affair: I’m not very good at, like, breaking hearts, y’know?

Seattle, Washington

Bewildered call agent: No, ma’am, “Seattle” is not spelled with a “c,” if it were it would sound like… “cattle.”

Yakima, Washington

Overheard by: Moooo

Director: I haven’t slept in 10 days!
Worker bee: Vickie has an amulet – try that.

Redmond, Washington