Dumb Customers

Customer: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Vietnam?
Employee: Um…no?

2063 Camden Avenue
San Jose, California

Worker: First, go to the website. [says URL]Customer: Do I need to go online first?


Bagger: What kind of bag would you like?
Dismissive shopper: You pick. I haven’t been here in a while, so I don’t know what the options are.

7504 Aurora Avenue North
Seattle, Washington

Receptionist: Hello! Thank you for calling Avon Safety*, where safety comes first. How may I direct your call?
Voice #1: How do I direct the call?
Voice #2: [indecipherable]Voice #1: I don’t know. That’s all it says…
Receptionist: Hello? This is not a recording.
Voice #1: She said it’s a recording.
Receptionist: No! This is not a recording! Hello?
Voice #1: What do I do?
Voice #2: Hang up.

Avon, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Fae

Customer, trying to use his debit card: I gotta push “English”? “Spanish” shouldn’t be an option. If they can’t speak no English, they ain’t got no business being here. Where’s the “yes” button at?
Cashier: It’s the button that says “yes” on it.

Food Lion
Roanoke, Virginia

Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

CSR: So you’d like to rent a 12 foot stepladder?
Customer: Yes…How big is that?
CSR: Well, it’s about 12 feet, sir.
Customer: I can strap that on top of a cab, right?

533 Canal Street
New York, NY

Spikey-haired waiter: I'll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It's a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!

Kalamazoo, Michigan

Customer: Can you put directions for the delivery man on the label?
CSR: Sure.
Customer: Tell him to give it to me through the back door.
CSR: The back door?
Customer: Yeah.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Caller: I can’t seem to log into my account.
CS rep: Have you entered your username and password into the login fields?
Caller: Yes, I have.
CS rep: Okay now press the enter key.
Caller: Where’s the enter key?

Earthlink Customer Service
San Jose, California