Client: Is it North or South of Route 24?
Manager: Well, that depends on where you’re coming from.
Client: Oh, really? How does that work?
Huntington, New York
Client: Is it North or South of Route 24?
Manager: Well, that depends on where you’re coming from.
Client: Oh, really? How does that work?
Huntington, New York
Customer: Do you guys have any rooms available?
Front desk: No, sir. Unfortunately, we are completely sold out. If you like, I can give you the number of a few hotels in the area that have availability.
Customer, leaving and giving the finger: Does it look like I have a goddamn phone on me?
Front desk: I’d be more than happy to call them for you, sir.
Customer: Fuck you.
Front desk: Okay, sir. Have a wonderful night.
Elmira, New York
Customer on phone: The plug won’t fit!
IA rep: It’s okay, sir. I just need to confirm that the first device plugged into our router is either a firewall or a computer.
Customer on phone: They… They just won’t connect!
IA rep: We’re looking for an Ethernet line. Is there an Ethernet line coming out of the router? Make sure not to plug or unplug anything. It will take down your voice, too.
Customer on phone: It’s some telephone thingy… Oh, wait! This cord might work– [click].
IA rep: We got another one.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
American client: Aren’t we supposed to receive last month’s results soon?
French staffer: Normally, yes, but Easter was only last Sunday.
American client: So?
French staffer: Well, it means we’re only in the first week of a two-week holiday. So everything will be ready in three weeks.
American client: What? Do those fucking socialist dicksippers really have two weeks off for Easter?! You know, when I retire I’m going to work in France.
125 West 55th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jean val Jean
Customer to help desk support: My gun told me to call you guys.
Airport Road
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Purchaser on phone: No, no, the price is fine. I’m just a little concerned about the thickness of the shaft… How exactly is it lubricated? … Well, yeah, with that kind of thickness you are talking major lubrication…
Manufacturing company offices
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: Salty
Client: I just want to touch a hundred and fifty people a day for three minutes.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 1 or 2 at a time?
Clerk: What is your license plate number?
Customer: Five, T like ‘Tom,’ N like ‘Knife,’ L like ‘Lion*,’ five, two, seven*.
Clerk: N like ‘knife’?
Customer: That’s right!
DMV
Virginia
Tourist: Do you have any Opera?
Employee: We have The Marriage of Figaro.
Tourist: Hmmm, no. What about Lion King?
TKTS booth, Leicester Square
London
England
Customer on cell: Well, I need to go home and put a bra on.
Cashier: Yeah, it looks like it.
Lancaster, Ohio
Overheard by: Wonder Bra
