Secretary: Something’s wrong with my computer. I think it’s broken.
IT: Your monitor is off.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Secretary: Something’s wrong with my computer. I think it’s broken.
IT: Your monitor is off.
201 Forrester Drive
Greenville, South Carolina
Co-worker #1: I’ve heard about some diets that help regulate the acid-base balance in the blood. Is there any validity in those diets?”
Co-worker #2: I think that your kidneys help do that.
[Janet]: My equilibrium does that.
Instructor: Emphysema patients have chronic weight loss.
[Janet]: Is that why you gain weight when you quit cigarettes?
2070 North Rivers Business Center
Charleston, South Carolina
Intern: I've found the body bags!
Greenville, South Carolina
20-something female coworker: Ooooh! Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! For real, ya'll, that's the best book ever written. Well…other than, like, the bible.
Charleston, South Carolina
Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina
Manager: How has his performance been since we counseled him last June?
Subordinate: He’s been real good. He did a complete 350.
7801 Park Place Road
York, South Carolina
Overheard by: K. Boss
Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.
Fort Mill, South Carolina
Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.
Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: are u kidding me?
Company president: I love the photo [of a blonde girl on the beach] you used on this brochure. It’s perfect. But can you keep the same photo and just make her black instead?
Columbia, South Carolina
Overheard by: Office Peon
Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.
Sandwich shop
South Carolina