South Carolina

12PM Update the [Janet] File

[Janet]: You can drown if you drink too much water.

[Janet]: Summer is my favorite month.

[Janet]: Where is Latin? Isn’t that a country?

[Janet]: The funniest thing I heard today, I said it myself. I said, “You mean John White, the black man?”

Co-worker #1: I’ve heard about some diets that help regulate the acid-base balance in the blood. Is there any validity in those diets?”
Co-worker #2: I think that your kidneys help do that.
[Janet]: My equilibrium does that.

Instructor: Emphysema patients have chronic weight loss.
[Janet]: Is that why you gain weight when you quit cigarettes?

2070 North Rivers Business Center
Charleston, South Carolina

The Kids Were Playing in Them Again

Intern: I've found the body bags!

Greenville, South Carolina

Better Known As Oh, the Nonsense You'll Believe!

20-something female coworker: Ooooh! Dr. Seuss' Oh, the Places You'll Go! For real, ya'll, that's the best book ever written. Well…other than, like, the bible.

Charleston, South Carolina

I Would, but That's Just Me

Older man checking in at resort: Do I sign where it says “signature”?

Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

12PM Reviews Due

Manager: How has his performance been since we counseled him last June?
Subordinate: He’s been real good. He did a complete 350.

7801 Park Place Road
York, South Carolina

Overheard by: K. Boss

…As My “I Might As Well Be Pooping” Bumper Sticker Clearly States.

Sales rep #1: I wish we had cordless phones.
Sales rep #2: Why?
Sales rep #1: Well, if I'm going to be on hold, I might as well be pooping or something.

Fort Mill, South Carolina

The Clerk Used to Work at Starbucks

Customer: I need to get a dozen and a half, mixed.
Clerk, counting on her day-glo orange fingernails: It’d be cheaper if you got 18.
Customer: What’s the difference?
Clerk: ten cents.
Smirking customer: Ok, I’ll take 18.

Dunkin’ Donuts
Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: are u kidding me?

Just Singe the Page a Bit

Company president: I love the photo [of a blonde girl on the beach] you used on this brochure. It’s perfect. But can you keep the same photo and just make her black instead?

Columbia, South Carolina

Overheard by: Office Peon

Because Now I Have to Go See

Manager: I was walking my dog this morning when I felt a pain in a very private place, so I ran inside my house and pulled my pants down in my living room, and a fire ant had bitten me on my you-know-what!
Employee: Ouch?
Manager: It really itches. I keep going to the bathroom and pulling down my pants and looking at it and touching it, but I’m scared to put any medicine on my private place.
Employee: Oh. That is a problem.
Manager: I know. Oh, I’m itching again, I’ll be right back. [Goes to the restroom.]Employee, to coworker: I’m picturing her 50-year-old, ant-bitten vagina right now, and I want to stab myself to get that image out of my head.

Sandwich shop
South Carolina

3PM Coffee Break

Co-worker: That must be why I haven’t been getting any sleep; I moved back to my own desk!

856 William Hilton Parkway
Hilton Head Island, South Carolina

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