Librarian: Jeans, brain and behavior?
Student: Uh, genes with a G.
Librarian: Like this? Gene’s brain and behavior?
Student: There’s no apostrophe.
Librarian: I’m not getting any results.
Student: Well, I’m pretty sure it’s officially spelled with an ampersand.
Librarian: A what?
Addlestone Library
Charleston, South Carolina
Manager: There’s no black in here.
Ink delivery man: What?
Manager: I ordered all the colors, but there’s no black.
Ink delivery man: Well, yeah… Black’s not a color.
700 East North Street
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: colorblind
Marketer: So after sitting in her funky trailer for about 2 hours
listening to her talk about God, this lady was like, “Baby…I have been reading my Bible for 53 years…and I can tell you read your Bible, too…” So, I in my best Southern voice, said, “Yes, ma’am…I
read my Bible every day. I try to live my life according to the
Word.” But, I was just bullshitting. I’m probably going to hell. I mean she is like 90 and lives in a single-wide behind her daughter who lives in a double-wide…She can’t wipe her own ass…She’s about to die…and I am lying about reading the Bible. But we had a patient pass yesterday and we need one to take his place. Gotta keep the bodies moving…gotta get that bonus. Y’know?
1441 Main Street
Columbia, South Carolina
Grad student: Everything is unisex these days, even a vagina.
Laboratory
Charleston, South Carolina
Male employee #1: I don’t think it exists.
Female employee: The G-spot? Oh, it’s real.
Male employee #1: I think it’s a mythical place.
Male employee #2: I’ve never heard of it.
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: dying a slow death
Female employee: What the hell is she fussing at? He’s only two years older than her. If he’s old, she’s old!
Office manager: She’s just trying to ruffle your feathers.
Sales guy: You should tell her your husband can beat up her husband.
Assistant: Which one? She’s got a couple.
Female employee: Hey!
Sales guy: Haha, I forgot she’s got like three husbands now.
Female employee: I hate you guys.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Front desk girl to maintenance guy, about her empty water bottle: Yeah, there were no babies in it like last time.
5055 International Boulevard
North Charleston, South Carolina
Salesperson: They don’t have to know what they want. They just have to tell me what they want.
2299 Ridge Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: dying a slow death
Reference librarian to another: Bitch! You da rock lobster!
Charleston County, South Carolina
Overheard by: I wish I had heard the first part of this conversation…
Large GSR #1: That food stinks!
Larger GSR #2: I know, I can smell it with my mouth!
Charleston, South Carolina
