Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’
7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?
Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’
7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?
Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Man: Are you 21?
Teen girl: I’m 16.
Man: Oh, I was going to buy you your first in-flight drink.
Woman sitting behind them: I’m her mother. You can buy me a drink.
Flight from Michigan to Phoenix
Overheard by: Enigmae
Meat clerk: So, Mitch*, how old is your daughter?
Mitch: 19. Why, you wanna fuck her? She’s a whore. Joe* already fucked her.
Joe: He doesn’t have a daughter.
Supermarket
Buffalo, New York
Overheard by: Fishmonger
Grandma to stranger: Meth is way worse than heroin.
Granddaughter: What?
Grandma: Oh. Ummm, nothing, honey… Nevermind. Aren’t we here to gamble and drink?
Caesars, Indiana
Overheard by: Fatty
Guy: So, I figure that either they tried to give dad a needle somewhere he didn’t want it, or something really bad happened.
Broadway
Winnipeg, Canada
Overheard by: Shalamar
Hick coworker #1: There was nuthin’ wrong with slavery. My family had slaves. They was like family.
Hick coworker #2: I know, I agree. My family’s slaves didn’t leave after emaciation because they were happy. We treated them like family.
Athens, Georgia
Overheard by: Happy I moved to a blue state
Woman on phone: Could you please just act like a human being?… Oh, right, I forgot. You’re a Transformer.
42nd Street
New York, New York
Guy: I’m looking for my daughter. She was going to meet us at McDonalds, but it’s closed, so I need to tell her.
Woman: Oh, is she a very pretty girl?
Guy: Not really.
Woman: Oh.
1535 Bacharach Boulevard
Atlantic City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Lauren
Boss: How are your parents?
Worker #1: Fine, thanks for asking.
Worker #2: My parents are fine, too, thanks for asking!
Boss: I’m happy to hear that. When both of my parents were in the hospital at the same time, it was really hard on our whole family.
28th Street & 6th Avenue
New York, New York
