Mom and Dad Like to Keep Busy

Coworker #1: You're so lucky you get to go home early!
Coworker #2: Nah, I have to go to my mom and dad's house. I just hope I don't get MRSA… Or crabs.

Everett, Washington

Posted on April 7, 2022
Coworkers, Family, Health & Hygiene, Time Management, Washington, Weirdness

5PM That’s a Wrap

Employee: Hey! Doesn’t your ma get you anything from the Easter bunny?
Supervisor: It’s been years since I’ve gotten anything.
Employee’s boy: You live with your mom?
Supervisor: So what? So do you!
Employee’s boy: No, I don’t.
Supervisor: Huh?…Oh…Ah, shit.

6101 Wetzel Avenue
Fort Carson, Colorado

Posted on March 22, 2022
Bosses, Colorado, Employees, Family, General Idiocy, Holidays, Kids

Now I'm Like, “Next…?”

Loud cubicle neighbor: And that's why both my ex-husbands are dead!

Fayetteville, Arkansas

Posted on March 17, 2022
Arkansas, Death, Employees, Family, Weirdness

Then I Realize I'm Married, and Reading Them

Woman smoking on loading dock: I get e-mails from him at 3 and 4 am on Saturdays and I think to myself, “if he's married, he must hate his wife.”

Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: fly on the wall

Posted on March 14, 2022
Employees, Family, Feelings, Georgia, Internet, Time Management

If That's Good Enough for Your Mom, It's Good Enough for Me

Cashier to bagger: My mom is picking me up because I can't drive until I find my glasses, I lost them and only have my contacts in.
Bagger: So? You can't drive with your contacts?
Cashier: My license says that I must wear corrective lenses!

Atlantic Beach, Florida

Overheard by: Sharyn

Posted on March 11, 2022
Coworkers, Family, Florida, General Idiocy, Questions

Worst. HR Rep. Ever.

Cubicle rat to another: So you buried your grandmother? So are you, like, sad?

Boston, Massachusetts

Posted on March 7, 2022
Coworkers, Death, Family, Feelings, Massachusetts

The Government’s Alternative to Medicare

Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.

Midtown Building
New York City, New York

Posted on February 25, 2022
Age and ageing, Coworkers, Default, Family, Gripes, New York, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management, Vacation

Three’s Normal, Right?

Well-dressed 30-something woman: So my son was like: “Mom! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” So I told him to talk to his father because I want nothing to do with this conversion. So he says: “Dad! There’s this ball in my privates and it’s moving around!” and my husband goes: “Yeah -’cause those are your balls. Women have boobs and men have balls and those are your balls! End of story.”
Slightly horrified 20-something woman: Don’t you think that will ultimately confuse him?
30-something woman: I know, right?! Anyway, it was so funny… [Laughs] Balls!

Providence, Rhode Island