Worker bee: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I’m gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss… Psss… Look at me! I’m the cat! I’m peeing on the carpet!
Nashville, Tennessee
Worker bee: Oh my god! I’m so excited, I’m gonna pee on the carpet! I got the e-mail about that 11-thousand-dollar deal! [Stands up up and lifts leg] Psss… Psss… Look at me! I’m the cat! I’m peeing on the carpet!
Nashville, Tennessee
Lady customer: I need a phone that’ll work all year — all three hundred sixty-two days.
Electronics store
California
Overheard by: Stephen
Account manager: Um, it’s called the UK. Sometimes it’s a country, and sometimes it’s not.
Washington, DC
Overheard by: When is it not?
Employee: Can I have your first and last name?
Customer: I don’t have one.
715 Jefferson Street
Wausau, Wisconsin
Receptionist #1: Oh we’re sorry.
Male customer, trying to pick up his cat from the vet: What?
Receptionist #1: We were talking about personal stuff.
Receptionist #2: Yeah, aren’t we typical women? Talking about guys?
Male customer: Well, to be honest, like a typical guy, I wasn’t paying attention.
Magazine Street
New Orleans, Louisiana
Library supervisor: Can you hand me those staplers? I’ve gotta take them back to those who dwell in the rear.
Library
Columbia, South Carolina
Suit: When Barry* is out, who should get this report?
Boss: Give it to Barry — he’s in.
Suit: When I asked Susan* I thought she said he wasn’t working today.
Boss: She’s absolutely right. But he is here today.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Nerd #1: Done! Like a bunny, I am quick!
Nerd #2: Like a ninja bunny!
Nerd #1: … A ninja, pirate bunny!
Telephone company
Iowa City, Iowa
Overheard by: Jesus Christ
Clerk: This form is made out for June 31st, but there isn’t any June 31st.
Salesman: Why not? Is this a leap year?
Brunswick, Georgia
Overheard by: Julian Calendar
Boss: … So I said, ‘Two words: Go fuck yourself.’
Employee: Three words, boss.
Boss: Whatever.
Hadera
Israel
Overheard by: SmR
