I Bet I Can Locate the Dimmest One in the Store

Customer: Could you tell me where the Amaryllis bulbs are?
Clerk #1: Hey, do you know where we keep the bulbs?
Clerk #2: I think they’re on Aisle Four — y’know, with the other electrical stuff.
Clerk #1, to customer: Did you check there? That’s where we keep the bulbs.
Customer: No, no, no — they’re flowers! Do you have any?
Clerk #1: Well, I’m pretty sure we’ve got bulbs. Did you need a three-way one, or a regular one? You should check on Aisle Four, then.

1690 Grande Avenue
Arroyo Grande, California

Overheard by: Blue

Posted on July 21, 2026
California, Dumb Employees, General Idiocy

And Apparently Neither Do You

Teacher: That’s an interesting tattoo, Jacob*!
Student #1: Thanks.
Teacher: Are you like the tattooed man from The Great Gatsby?
Student #2, after long pause: Yo, we don’t read!

High school
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: freshman whisperer

Posted on July 21, 2026
Canadia, General Idiocy, Students, Teachers

They’re Not the Brightest Neon Lights in the Casino

Cocktail waitress #1: What’s a late-term abortion?
Cocktail waitress #2: I’m not sure, but I think it’s when you have an abortion when the baby’s being born.
Cocktail waitress #1: Ew! They can do that?! [A few minutes later] Where is Washington state?
Cocktail waitress #2: I think it’s near Seattle…
Cocktail waitress #1: You think they meant to say ‘Washington, DC’?
Cocktail waitress #2: I don’t know, but that’s pretty dumb of them if they did mean DC. People can get confused, you know?

Hotel and casino
Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: HannA

Posted on July 21, 2026
Bimbettes, General Idiocy, Nevada

… Delicious, but Deadly

Cube dweller: Zebrafish! Liquid nitrogen!

Business affairs office
Oregon

Overheard by: research sounds like fun

Posted on July 19, 2026
Coworkers, General Idiocy, Oregon

Or Until the Ninth Month, in My Case

Preggers peon: You know, people only think you’re pregnant for nine months, but it’s really ten because you don’t know you’re pregnant for the first month.

Nashville, Tennessee

Overheard by: Mic all

Posted on July 18, 2026
Dumb Employees, General Idiocy, Tennessee

8 Heads in a Duffel Baguette

Peon #1, talking about proposed ad: Show the guys driving home too quickly and then getting decapitated because they’re driving their car too fast. That’s entertainment.
Peon #2: That’s not good. I’m thinking that’s not selling sandwiches.

Toronto
Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: one smelly idiot

Posted on July 11, 2026
Canadia, Coworkers, General Idiocy

As Long As He Stays Dead and All

Guy: I always say, “To each his own.”
Girl: But what about Hitler? Would you say that about Hitler?
Guy: Well, if Hitler’s happy doing what he’s doing…

2375 Main Mall, University of British Columbia
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Posted on July 10, 2026
Canadia, General Idiocy, Office Politics

She’s Been Practicing in Front of the Mirror

Sales guy: What are you two up to?
Systems admin: Nothing. We’re being facetious.
Sales chick: Wow, that’s a big word for Erin*. I’m not sure she used it correctly, though.
Sales guy: We’ll give her an A for effort, though.
Systems admin, skipping: I said ‘facetious,’ I said ‘facetious’!

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina