Boss on phone: All the invitations said black tie, so I bought a white shirt and a black tie and wore that.
8800 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Cpt. Rombone
Boss on phone: All the invitations said black tie, so I bought a white shirt and a black tie and wore that.
8800 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California
Overheard by: Cpt. Rombone
CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?
1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Chastain
Assistant Building Emergency Coordinator: Why don’t we have the security officers make the evacuation announcements? They are located next to the building PA system.
Manager: I am not sure they are qualified and capable of using the microphone to make announcements.
600 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Head of sales: You came to this meeting on Monday morning and you know I’m going to be asking questions. So even if you don’t know the answers, make some shit up. You’re in sales, you have to sell, so make shit up!
1515 Broadway
New York, NY
Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.
220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania
Boss: So with his experience, he will help us ferret those waters.
930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana
Co-worker #1: I don’t like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that’s freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That’s why I don’t like space.
250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut
Co-worker #1: [Steph], I never believed the stereotype about blonde women until I met you.
[Steph]: Thanks!
1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi
Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?
1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York
Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.
901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
