General Idiocy

Underling: What do you think about the new price increase?
Team leader: I think; that’s all I know.

1070 Technology Drive
Venice, Florida

Client on speaker: I need one of those lights that you put on the camera, and a metal thing, and also the curly thing.
Rental Department: So you need a flash, a stroboframe bracket and the off-camera cord?
Client on speaker: Yeah, sure, I guess. Oh, and do you have one of these things that see the light?
Rental Department: A flash meter you mean?
Client on speaker: Sure, I guess.
Rental Department: Sir, are you the photographer?
Client on speaker: Yes, why?

1111 North Cherry Street
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker: Here comes trouble.
Boss: Get back in your box and shut the lid.
Co-worker: I *am* in my box. I was just sitting here and you came in my box!

10398 Pacific Center Court
San Diego, California

Clinical Services Manager: I hate it when my email is full of porn!
Clinical Services Assistant: Well, at least it’s not kiddie porn.
Clinical Services Manager: Wait, they make porn with cats in it now?

999 Home Plaza
Waterloo, Iowa

Overheard by: RicaChica

Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?
Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.
Worker #1: How about 11AM?
Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.

140 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: HardlyWorking

Boss on phone: All the invitations said black tie, so I bought a white shirt and a black tie and wore that.

8800 West Sunset Boulevard
West Hollywood, California

Overheard by: Cpt. Rombone

CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?

1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Chastain

Assistant Building Emergency Coordinator: Why don’t we have the security officers make the evacuation announcements? They are located next to the building PA system.
Manager: I am not sure they are qualified and capable of using the microphone to make announcements.

600 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Head of sales: You came to this meeting on Monday morning and you know I’m going to be asking questions. So even if you don’t know the answers, make some shit up. You’re in sales, you have to sell, so make shit up!

1515 Broadway
New York, NY

Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.

220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania