General Idiocy

Head of sales: You came to this meeting on Monday morning and you know I’m going to be asking questions. So even if you don’t know the answers, make some shit up. You’re in sales, you have to sell, so make shit up!

1515 Broadway
New York, NY

Accountant on speaker: Okay, I tried entering my password and it didn’t work.
Tech: I reset it to “password.”
Accountant on speaker: Okay, let me try my password again.
Tech: Make sure you type “password.”
Accountant on speaker: It didn’t work again.
Tech: Iou typed far too many letters for the word “password.” Did you type in “password” as your password?
Accountant on speaker: Yu never told me to do that.
Tech: So what part of my sentance confused you: “Type in the word
‘password’ when it asks you for your password”, or “I reset it for you, your password is now ‘password.'”
Accountant on speaker: I have a CPA, don’t talk to me like that.
Tech: I can make up acronyms too. I’ll be in your office in five
minutes. In the meantime, ponder this one: I’m OMGWTF certified.

220 Woodbine Road
Downingtown, Pennsylvania

Boss: So with his experience, he will help us ferret those waters.

930 South Calhoun Street
Fort Wayne, Indiana

Co-worker #1: I don’t like space, or astronauts.
Co-worker #2: Why?
Co-worker #1: Well, this one time I was at the Kennedy Space Center when I was a little kid and there was a statue of an astronaut at the end of the museum and when I got close to it, it moved and it really scared me.
Co-worker #2: Ooh, that’s freaky!
Co-worker #1: Yeah. That’s why I don’t like space.

250 Harbor Drive
Stamford, Connecticut

Co-worker #1: [Steph], I never believed the stereotype about blonde women until I met you.
[Steph]: Thanks!

1000 Jerry St. Pe’ Highway
Pascagoula, Mississippi

Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?

1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York

Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.

901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California

Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?

800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

Manager: We’re totally gonna win! We’re gonna build the holiday tower of pain!

101 Truman Avenue
Yonkers, New York

Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.

1775 Broadway
New York, NY