Boss: We need to be the blind kids with the M16s playing soccer.
Suit: [Silence.]Boss: You understand what I’m saying?
64th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Boss: We need to be the blind kids with the M16s playing soccer.
Suit: [Silence.]Boss: You understand what I’m saying?
64th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Caller: I was trying to complete my request with your voice automated system, but it would not accept my diagnosis code.
Phone rep: Okay… what is your diagnosis code?
Caller: Oh… I don’t have a diagnosis code.
201 West Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Juice
Customer on phone: How much is two hundred dollars worth of oil?
Worker bee: 75 gallons.
Customer: No, I said how much is two hundred dollars worth of oil?
Worker bee: Ma’am, two hundred dollars will buy you 75 gallons.
Customer, exasperated: No, no, no! How much. Is two hundred dollars. Worth of oil?
Worker bee, confused now: Um… Two hundred dollars?
Customer: That’s what I was askin’ you! Jesus! [Hangs up.]Worker bee: Did she just call up to ask me whether two hundred dollars is worth two hundred dollars?
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gypsy
Election board office manager: I don’t know if you’re aware, but every election you need to contact all the local funeral homes about absentee voting.
Worker: Ummm, funeral homes? Don’t you mean nursing homes?
Election board office manager: Oh, yeah. Whatever.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Xanadu
Lady #1: Where were you yesterday?
Lady #2: I was at my mother’s cousin’s funeral.
Lady #1: Why, did she die?
Lady #2: Yes.
Raanana
Israel
Overheard by: Shy One
Consultant #1: Should we print copies so people can take notes?
Consultant #2: I never take notes — I have a phallic memory. If I see it once, I always remember it.
Bay Area Boulevard
Houston, Texas
Tech #1: Phew! I just spent hours grabbing screenshots to show the manager what I’ve been doing.
Tech #2: Umm… You know he’s blind, right?
Tech #1: So… I should send a note instead?
Charlotte, North Carolina
Overheard by: Not involved – really!
Employee #1: What are you doing?
Employee #2: A crossword. What’s the capital of Maine? Is it Rhode Island?
Lombard and Buchanan Street
San Francisco, California
Teacher: I was sitting there thinking, ‘If I only had a brain!’ And then I thought, ‘Duh! The Wal-Mart’s open!’
Brookdale, Nova Scotia
Canadia
Overheard by: Chris
Coworker #1: I don’t know, he was weird. And plus, I’ve never dated a guy from Indiana…
Coworker #2: Wait… He was Indian?
Birmingham, Alabama
Overheard by: Cubica
