General Idiocy

Manager: You all need to help out and pull a shift in the Concierge Department. This is what team work is all about. I make too much money to help in the Concierge Department.

47 East Beaver Creek Boulevard
Avon, Colorado

CCA: My Excel’s not working.
Manager: I don’t care.
CCA: What should I do if my Excel’s not working and you don’t care?
Manager: Call the Ghostbusters.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Intern #1: So are you lactose intolerant?
Intern #2: No, I’m not lactose intolerant, it just makes my throat close up.

304 Hudson Street
New York, NY

Instructor: My entire pedagogical technique is based on James Bond.

700 Royal Avenue
New Westminster, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: SarahSideEffect

Drone #1: Do you need the reports immediately?
Drone #2: Yeah, but not right now.

2929 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona

Worker: What?
Boss: What?
Worker: Were you talking to me?
Boss: No, to myself.
Worker: Sorry.
Boss: How dare you eavesdrop on a conversation I’m having with myself!

8403 South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Mary H

Consultant #1: Where is [Jeff]?
Consultant #2: He’s not in my cubicle. That leaves the rest of the universe for you to search.
Consultant #1: Is he at lunch?
Consultant #2: If you’re going to start looking, do it now. The universe closes at 5.

250 Broadway
New York, NY

VP:I swear to God, the assistant at [DouglasCo] is so stupid.
Admin: Hey, even stupid people need jobs.
Coworker: Yeah. Some of them even make it to VP.

388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Hey, we get off for February 20th, too.
Co-worker #2: Oh, for President’s Day? Wait, when is Independence Day? That’s in the summer, right?
Co-worker #1: Uh, yeah, that’s July 4th.

175 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Peter H

Accountant: Could you call and get someone to come and service our coffee machine?
Receptionist: Sure! What’s going on with it?
Accountant: The hot water tap just tastes like regular tap water.

1625 North Palafox Street
Pensacola, Florida