General Idiocy

Employee #1: Oh, so you are talking apples and oranges?
Employee #2: No, I am talking about two different things.

701 Park Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Bagger: What kind of bag would you like?
Dismissive shopper: You pick. I haven’t been here in a while, so I don’t know what the options are.

7504 Aurora Avenue North
Seattle, Washington

Lady peon #1: Chipotle’s burritos are, like, so good!
Lady peon #2: Yeah, I know. Carol*, have you ever had one?
Carol: Uh, I’ve never been out of the country…

5813 South Kenwood Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: wow

Paralegal #1: I’m not sure what’s going on with the boxes, they kind of keep me in the dark about these things.
Paralegal #2: Yes…they do treat us like mushrooms.

200 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: GJG

Co-worker #1: How do you spell “pseudo”?
Co-worker #2: S-U–
Co-worker #1: That doesn’t seem right. Is there an H?

270 Sylvan Avenue
Englewood Cliffs, New Jersey

Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.

110 Wall Street
New York, New York

Desk monkey #1: I heard she and her boyfriend had Brazilian waxes done together. The man’s treatment is called the ‘free willy wax.’
Desk monkey #2: Oooh! Can you do that? I mean, you can’t wax a man’s balls!


Overheard by: Ouch!

Client on phone: May I talk to Mr. Ackerman*, please?
Receptionist: I’m sorry, but Mr. Ackerman doesn’t work here anymore. Would you like to leave a message?

Toledo, Ohio

Overheard by: jullylully

Co-worker #1: “Telephony”? Really? That’s a word?
Co-worker #2: Yeah, I know. I hate when words that usually end in “e” suddenly end in “y.” It’s like finding yourself in a world with neither floor nor ceiling.
Co-worker #1: …You’re freakin’ nuts, dude.

105 Avenue O
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Dani

Coworker #1: This weekend I was Wiiing for Jesus.
Coworker #2: What the hell? You took a piss for God?
Coworker #1: No, you moron — Nintendo Wii. I played at my church’s youth group fair… You are one sick bitch.

Binghamton University
New York, New York

Overheard by: Cube Farmer