General Idiocy

Tech Support: Okay, I need you to go to a command prompt and type
“‘mail from:’ your email address” and this should get you a connection.
User: It didn’t work.
Tech Support: Okay, so you typed “‘mail from:’ your email address” and it didn’t work for you?
User: Wait a minute. Did you say you wanted me to type “nail” or “mail”?

1010 Niagara Street
Buffalo, New York

Co-worker: Can you help me out here? I’ve got kind of a rush going on.
Underling: Sure, what can I help you with?
Co-Worker: Oh, wait. Hold on. I don’t mean “rush” like I’m doing a line of cocaine. I mean rush like I’m busy.

901 Mission Street
San Francisco, California

Peon: Well, you know as they say, “Necessity is the mother of all invention.”
Boss: That’s cool, did you just make that up?

800 E. 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu

Manager: We’re totally gonna win! We’re gonna build the holiday tower of pain!

101 Truman Avenue
Yonkers, New York

Secretary: I can’t talk to her any longer. She’s so disrespectful.
Boss: …Really.
Secretary: Yes! Can you please talk to her ’cause I’ve had enough.
Boss: Well, since we’ve been acquired by the new company, they’re really big on that.
Secretary: Huh?
Boss: You know. Respect. It used to be a lot easier around here.

1775 Broadway
New York, NY

Receptionist: Argh! My arm is so itchy. I’m, like, allergic to work!
Co-worker: Stop scratching; you are making it worse! At lunch, go
and get an antihistamine to stop the swelling.
Receptionist: Antihistamine or antiinflammatory? I think it’s
inflamed. What’s the difference anyway?
Co-worker: Antihistamine is something that is not histamine, and
antiinflammatory is something that’s not inflammatory.
Receptionist: So I’ll ask the chemist?

25 Parramatta Road
Underwood, Queensland
Australia

Employee on phone: Yeah, that’s a little redundant.
Boss: You can say that again.

1 Whitehall Street
New York, NY

Co-worker: If we can have trampolines and flying elves, then I can be Stevie Wonder!

75 9th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: CC

Co-worker #1: It’s such a nice day today, I’ll have lunch au naturale.
Co-worker #2: Thanks for the warning.

40 West 57th Street
New York, NY

Nurse: How did I know this elevator was going down?
Man: I don’t know; my guess would be the down arrow above the
door, though…

Davis Avenue at East Post Road
White Plains, New York