Woman #1: Did you see the Avon book in accounting?
Woman #2: No, I haven’t.
Woman #1: Well, it’s all in Mexican. Only a little bit on the back was in English… Instead of having the whole thing in Mexican, they should’ve just done it half and half.
260 West Seeboth Street
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Client: I can’t wait to get back to my car!
Hair stylist #1: Why your car?
Client: So I can take my bra off!
Hair stylist #2: Girl, my boobs will never sag, ’cause I’m a hairdresser!
Hair stylist #1: Huh?
Hair stylist #2: It’s all the blow drying!
West End
Nashville, Tennessee
Overheard by: wondering if my boobs will sag
Guy seeing a purse in a chair: Who left this green bag here for me to go through?
Girl: It’s mine, but there’s nothing in it but an empty wallet and some tampons.
Guy: I love tampons! Oh, wait…
1280 Peachtree Street
Atlanta, Georgia
Overheard by: Amazed
Announcement over PA after lights go out: Attention everyone — the lights are off.
Cambridge, Ontario
Canadia
Former military guy: Yeah, back when I was enlisted we used to joke that if we ever won the lottery that we would take off all our military owned equipment and walk out the front gate of the base in nothing but our underwear.
Senior admin: Oh my gosh! Wouldn’t that mean you would be considered AOL?
North MacArthur Boulevard
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
CSR: Yeah, Alabama is first. I can’t think of any other states that start with ‘A’… Mhmmm… Oh, right, Arizona. And Iowa.
Boston, Massachusetts
Boss: We need to be the blind kids with the M16s playing soccer.
Suit: [Silence.]Boss: You understand what I’m saying?
64th Street
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Caller: I was trying to complete my request with your voice automated system, but it would not accept my diagnosis code.
Phone rep: Okay… what is your diagnosis code?
Caller: Oh… I don’t have a diagnosis code.
201 West Main Street
Louisville, Kentucky
Overheard by: Juice
Customer on phone: How much is two hundred dollars worth of oil?
Worker bee: 75 gallons.
Customer: No, I said how much is two hundred dollars worth of oil?
Worker bee: Ma’am, two hundred dollars will buy you 75 gallons.
Customer, exasperated: No, no, no! How much. Is two hundred dollars. Worth of oil?
Worker bee, confused now: Um… Two hundred dollars?
Customer: That’s what I was askin’ you! Jesus! [Hangs up.]Worker bee: Did she just call up to ask me whether two hundred dollars is worth two hundred dollars?
Newark, New Jersey
Overheard by: Gypsy
Election board office manager: I don’t know if you’re aware, but every election you need to contact all the local funeral homes about absentee voting.
Worker: Ummm, funeral homes? Don’t you mean nursing homes?
Election board office manager: Oh, yeah. Whatever.
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma
Overheard by: Xanadu
