General Idiocy

Manager: We need to be ducked-rowed here as there will be a lot of scrutiny given we’ve had the opportunity to reoutlook the schedule twice now and yet the schedule continues to slip.

229 8th Street SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia

Attendee #1: Can it be programmed so our office and cell phones ring simultaneously?
Attendee #2: What do you mean by simultaneously?

2901 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California

Overheard by: Rachel Marie

Manager: [Tim], are you going over the off-site location?
Intern: Yes, I have to pick up the loaner laptop for [Kelly].
Manager: Can you drop this off to shipping and receiving while you are there? Might as well stone 2 birds.

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Manager: I knew you were going to say that.
Team Lead: Really? How did you know that?
Manager: I have a third sense when it comes to this place.

730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas

Marketing Manager: I can start working on that flyer you need as soon as you give me the copy.
Sales Manager: Copy of what?

1111 Old Eagle School Road
Wayne, Pennsyvania

Worker #1: Wow, is that the moon over there?
Worker #2: No, no, that’s the sun.

16530 Commerce Court
Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: matt

Co-worker: I swear, if this keeps up I’m going to throw myself on a bridge.

315 South Boulder Avenue
Tulsa, Oklahoma

Manager: Is that goat cheese on your sandwich?
Worker: Yes
Manager: I hear that single goat goat cheese is a delicatessen.
Worker: A what?
Manager: A delicatessen.

6511 Tri-County Parkway
Schertz, Texas

Co-worker: You need to teach me Spanish and I need to teach you everything.

1341 G Street NW
Washington, DC

Co-worker #1: What’s a carpet muncher? Is that a new slang for vacuum cleaner?
Co-worker #2: Um, no. He, he, he. I’ll give you a thousand bucks if you ask the boss for a carpet muncher.
Co-worker #1: Why? I don’t have carpeting.

800 East 28th Street
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Overheard by: jearu