Cube dweller: I can’t believe I haven’t taken a shower in a week. You can’t tell, can you?
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: GeBuJuJu
Cube dweller: I can’t believe I haven’t taken a shower in a week. You can’t tell, can you?
Woburn, Massachusetts
Overheard by: GeBuJuJu
Chick: A new day, another dollar. A new day, another dollar. A new day, another dollar. As long as I have my smoothie, I’m okay. Smoothie — okay. No smoothie — not okay.
375 Hudson Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Harriet Vane
Elderly customer: I’d also like a two-liter of Coke.
20-something cashier, smiling: Certainly.
Elderly customer: You know, I really like your demeanor and attitude.
20-something cashier: Up yours, old man.
Elderly customer: [Stunned silence.]20-something cashier: Have a nice day!
6780 Goshen Road
Goshen, Ohio
Overheard by: Delivery Expert
Child in stall: Mommy, where does that hole go?
Mother: It’s not a hole, it’s a pipe, and it goes to where the child-catcher lives. Now hurry up!
601 West Peace Street
Raleigh, North Carolina
Man: Oooh, whatever was on my finger tasted good! I wonder what it was…
Dallas, Texas
Boss: So, how was everybody’s weekend?
Mother of the year, proudly: I got so drunk at my daughter’s sixth birthday party that I passed out on the couch at three p.m. I think my husband kept an eye on all the kids, but either way, everyone was gone when I woke up at 5:30.
Lebanon, New Jersey
Overheard by: she was gone, too, from the sound of it.
Woman: … And then he bit my nipple so hard it started to bleed.
Burlington, Vermont
Overheard by: not a deaf waitress
Amateur theologian: … And something else I was thinking — it’s like, people always say, ‘Well, the cowboys are God’s team.’ No, they’re not! It doesn’t matter who wins. God knew who was gonna win 1000 years ago!
333 North Meridian Street
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: fransen comes alive
Woman to young girl: Oh, I got some news that will make you so jealous! I have two colons!
87th Avenue and Roberts Road
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: sarah
Coworker: Any religion involving rams’ blood is fine by me.
Yaletown
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: DaveM
