Medical

We Think This Quote Is Kind Of Awesome

Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: What do you think of what I am wearing?
Secular Muslim salesgirl #2: I’m glad you asked, it’s bizarre. Why are you wearing such a short skirt? It’s winter! And is that shirt actually lingerie? And why are you wearing a veil? Especially with all this? I’ve never seen you wear a veil!
Secular Muslim salesgirl #1: My grandmother put glue in my shampoo bottle to try to force me to cover my hair and dress more conservatively. I didn’t have time to fix it. I had to wear a veil. And the rest… well, I couldn’t let her win.

Clothing Store
Sarajevo
Bosnia and Herzegovina

If There Are Complications, You Get a Set of Steak Knives

Patient: Do you offer any discounts if this is my second surgery?
Receptionist: Sure, we can throw in a free appendectomy or colonoscopy… Your choice.

Orange Avenue
Orlando, Florida

Behind the Flowering Ficus

Patient: Where’s the bathroom?
Receptionist: On your way out, you can just go in that corner.

Dentist’s Office
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

Overheard by: Avoiding the corner

That’s Coming from Her TV — It’s Stuck on Lifetime

Patient: Stop raping me!
Nurse #1: Did I just hear that?
Nurse #2: She has been yelling it all day.

Randolph Road
Plainfield, New Jersey

Tends to Happen When Your Officemates Are a Bunch Of Animals

Vet: Is Amanda* upstairs?
Amanda*: No, I’m downstairs.
Vet: Oh, she is? Okay, hold on.
(vet goes downstairs)
Amanda*: Did that really happen?
Vet tech: I dunno. I want a beer.

Veterinary Clinic
Mahattan, New York

Overheard by: Vicksburg

2PM Follow Up with HR

Secretary: I could swear that I read that if you have a death in the family you automatically get two days off.
Nurse: Well, I looked it up in the protocol. You can have days off, but they’re just regular PTO.
Secretary: Right, I know they’re PTO, but I swear I read that they’re automatic if you have a death in the family.
Nurse: No, it’s like any other PTO, you have to have them approved by your supervisor.
Secretary: I swear I read that you get those days off for a family death.
Nurse: Well, I’m sure every supervisor would be happy to quickly approve your PTO if someone dies.
Secretary: Yeah, but I swear I read somewhere that you get two days automatically for that.
Nurse: Please, tell me one more time about how you read that somewhere.

Medical Center Boulevard
Winston‐Salem, North Carolina

Our Workplace Is Fraught With Peril Since Grey’s Anatomy Debuted

Nurse to paramedic pushing stretcher and IV pole: Would you like me to guide your pole?

Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: Deena

Preschool Admissions Criteria Get More Daunting by the Day

Serious nurse: …but, I’d be lying if I said bloodlust didn’t have a lot to do with it.

Hospital
Manchester, Tennessee

Overheard by: Mouse

I Got My Medicine in Ten Minutes But I Was Just Too Mesmerized to Leave

Customer #1 (sitting in waiting area waiting for prescription for 40 minutes): (cough cough hack hack wheeze)
Customer #2: Oh, you sound awful, I hope you haven’t been waiting long.
Customer #1: I’ve been here for almost an hour watching the dance of the dipshits that’s going on behind the counter.
Customer #2: There’s entertainment now?

CVS Pharmacy
Hamilton, New Jersey

Overheard by: Currrly!

Why Are You Giggling, Sir?

Social worker on the phone: No sir, the hospital does not offer financial assistance for penile prosthesis. Well, have you spoken with Dr. Wang in the erectile dysfunction clinic?

Holcombe & Bertner
Houston, Texas

Overheard by: Just the Secretary

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