American patient on cell: …and I don't even know *how* it happened, I remember I had my pants on…

Emergency Room

Patient: Yeah, I have a twin brother about my age.

Presbyterian Hospital
New York, New York

Overheard by: Speechless RN

Nurse: What is the single dose of Kaletra?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So 500.
Nurse manager: 400 and 100
Nurse: Right. So 500?
Nurse manager: 400 and 100.
Nurse: So wouldn’t 400 and 100 be 500?
Nurse manager: Well obviously you would get 500; I thought you could just do the math all on your own.

550 North University Blvd
Indianapolis, Indiana

Experienced healthcare worker: I told you not to tell our boss that I let you do that procedure, but you told her. Why did you tell her?
New Asian healthcare worker: Sometimes you talk and I just nod my head.

Cleveland, Ohio

Overheard by: Alarmed healthcare worker

Clinic pharmacist to nurse practitioners: Can we please not talk about my vagina anymore today?

Salt Lake City, Utah

Overheard by: It’s not THAT kind of clinic!

Patient #1 to family member on Skype: Yeah, they're taking real good care of me. (to nurse) Say hi to my sister.
(nurse leans in to computer screen, waves hello)
Family member on Skype: Is he being a good patient?
Patient #2, on other side of curtain: He's cryin' like a little bitch!

Stony Brook Hospital
Long Island, New York

Priest to another, in hospital hall: I'll be right there, I've got to go into the little boys room first…

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Cornfused

Doctor: So, you aren't eating or drinking water during the day for a whole month?
Muslim med student: Yep, but it's not so bad, it gives us time to reflect and pray.
Doctor: Wow, well, thanks for telling me about Ramadan. Now let's figure out our schedule for the day. Have you eaten lunch yet?

Medical Center
Richmond, Virginia

Front desk person in overhead announcement at a busy medical clinic: I need a hearse–no, I'm sorry, I need a nurse from hall three to call the front desk please. A nurse from hall three to call the front desk. Thank you.

Chapel Hill, North Carolina

Overheard by: seftiri

Male nurse #1: I just thought of something. Wouldn’t it be so embarassing being a gynecologist? What’s your motivation? Man, that would just be so embarrassing.
Male nurse #2: Yeah, especially with your name, Dr. Beaver.

Geisinger Medical Center
Danville, Pennsylvania