Incompetent project manager, after asking redundant questions: Um… Are you going to charge this time to my project?
Competent cube dweller: Oh, yeah, I’m gonna charge this! I’m gonna charge the fuck outta this project!
940 6th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Woman on cell: … So now instead of going to the funeral we’re going to the strawberry festival.
Indiana government center
Indianapolis, Indiana
Overheard by: Mmm… strawberries
Admin girl: Are you sure you don’t have any meetings scheduled this afternoon or want to leave early to get a start on your weekend?
Boss: Nope, I’m all free this afternoon and thought I’d catch up on paper work.
Admin girl: Oh, okay.
Boss: Why?
Admin girl: Because when you leave early I normally give you 10 minutes’ headway and then sneak out myself.
Boss: Ugh, just go already.
Brisbane
Australia
Boss pointing to bathroom stall: If you need me, I’ll be in my office, haha.
Employee: Um, I’m not gonna ask you anything while you’re taking a shit.
Boss: Oh, I’m not taking a shit. I’m just gonna sit in there and play Tetris on my phone.
Dexter Avenue
Seattle, Washington
Client: I just want to touch a hundred and fifty people a day for three minutes.
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: 1 or 2 at a time?
Employee #1: So, should I make the hotel arrangements, or should you? Or should I, or what should we do?
Employee #2: Oh, I don’t know… Maybe if I do it… Or you could do it, that would be fine.
Michigan
Hospital employee #1: Hey, girl! You going to the club tonight?
Hoochie hospital employee: Yep!
Hospital employee #2: And how are those kids doing?
Hoochie hospital employee: My son has pneumonia, but everyone else is alright.
1600 Harrison Street
Oakland, California
Overheard by: Jefferson Smoyle
Lady: Hey, Derek*, will you let me paint your toenails?
Man: Will you give me a blowjob?
Lady: … Sure.
Man: Do the blowjob first.
3301 North Mulford Road
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: what office is this?
Coworker #1: You look pensive.
Coworker #2: Well, I’m trying to come up with a new cliché.
Delaware
Supervisor: It’s too bad our schedules are getting so full. It used to be that whenever someone needed to get off, someone else could put out for them.
666 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: The happy new guy in the office
