CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?
1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Chastain
Worker: Dude, come look at my cubicle.
Manager: You mean you weren’t working?
Worker: No, I had to decorate.
1700 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.
1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey
Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson
Co-worker #1: It happened at 9:30 this morning…Between 9 and 10.
Co-worker #2: Is that when 9:30 is?
1633 Broadway
New York, NY
Overheard by: The Muskrat Jones
New Hire #1: So, what time do you think we’ll report to our boss?
New Hire #2: Probably in like an hour?
New Hire #3: No, probably later because we have to take the urine test.
New Hire #1: What? Why do we have to take a hearing test?
New Hire #2: No, the drug test!
New Hire #1: Huh?
280 Park Avenue
New York, NY
Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!
50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?
1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts
Overheard by: ribbon
Manager: …can you work a couple extra hours? [Nick]’s not coming in again.
Cook #1: Sure. Why ain’t he coming in this time?
Manager: He’s in the hospital.
Cook #2: Hospital? You can’t get crack at a hospital.
Manager: Why does he keep going there, then?
33703 Woodward Avenue
Birmingham, Michigan
Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.
5 minutes pass.
Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.
3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York
Co-worker #1: Hey, Tex.
Co-worker #2: Why are you calling me Tex?
Co-worker #1: You are walking funny, like a Texan.
Co-worker #2: Oh yeah, my knees are sore.
Co-worker #1: Is it quarterly review time already?
80 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
