Time Management

Worker #1: Are we still on for lunch at the strip club on Wednesday?
Worker #2: You bet. Is there really a lunch buffet there?

4 Gateway Center
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Matt

Worker #1: Do you have any time available to meet on Thursday?
Worker #2: It will be pretty tough; I have back to back meetings all day.
Worker #1: How about 11AM?
Worker #2: Okay, I have nothing scheduled at all between 9AM and 5PM.

140 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: HardlyWorking

CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?

1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Chastain

Worker: Dude, come look at my cubicle.
Manager: You mean you weren’t working?
Worker: No, I had to decorate.

1700 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Co-worker #1: I’m going to have to take a lot of time to help my wife out when the baby comes. Are we allowed any paternity leave?
Co-worker #2: The father gets 3 days. I don’t know what you get.

1 Bay Avenue
Montclair, New Jersey

Overheard by: Jonathan Nelson

Co-worker #1: It happened at 9:30 this morning…Between 9 and 10.
Co-worker #2: Is that when 9:30 is?

1633 Broadway
New York, NY

Overheard by: The Muskrat Jones

New Hire #1: So, what time do you think we’ll report to our boss?
New Hire #2: Probably in like an hour?
New Hire #3: No, probably later because we have to take the urine test.
New Hire #1: What? Why do we have to take a hearing test?
New Hire #2: No, the drug test!
New Hire #1: Huh?

280 Park Avenue
New York, NY

Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!

50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia

HR #1: She said she’s going to be on it for life! What kind of doctor gives you Valium for life?
Accountant: A good one!
HR #1: And what doctor would mix Valium, Vicodin, and Demerol?
HR #2: What’s this doctor’s name, again?

1776 Main Street
Springfield, Massachusetts

Overheard by: ribbon

Manager: …can you work a couple extra hours? [Nick]’s not coming in again.
Cook #1: Sure. Why ain’t he coming in this time?
Manager: He’s in the hospital.
Cook #2: Hospital? You can’t get crack at a hospital.
Manager: Why does he keep going there, then?

33703 Woodward Avenue
Birmingham, Michigan