Wifey on phone: Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?
Office peon: I can’t answer my cell phone! It’s in the ceiling!
Wifey: What do you mean, ‘it’s in the ceiling’?
Office peon: Exactly what you fucking think I mean! It’s in the fucking ceiling!
5900 Howard Street
Skokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
80-something husband: Did you get the Viagra?
80-something wife: [Mutters something inaudible.]80-something husband: Well, did you get the prescription for the Viagra?
80-something lady sitting nearby: He’s aimin’ for tonight!
2323 Edinboro Road
Erie, Pennsylvania
Female accountant: I’m allergic to chocolate.
CFO: Really? My daughter is allergic to — how does she put it — ‘Wrinkly nuts.’
7887 E Belleview Avenue
Englewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Did anyone else hear that?
Male customer: Well, we’re definitely interested. We’ll be back this week to make the purchase.
Sales chick: It was a pleasure to meet you. My name is Katie.
Female customer: Oh, Katie. We’ll remember that name!
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, whispering: Katie is the name of my “other” personality.
Sales chick: Oh?
Female customer, turning to male customer: Katie is not very nice, is she, darling?
Male customer: No, dear, she’s not.
Northridge, California
Overheard by: charlotte
Spikey-haired waiter: I'll be right back with your check.
Cranky old man: I hope all his hair falls out!
Wife: Calm down!
Cranky old man: It's a fad!
(spikey-haired waiter brings check)
Cranky old man: Oh! Mints!
Kalamazoo, Michigan
Man: It's green!
Woman: It's blue.
Man: You know men are color blind.
Woman: Not *real* men:
Man: The big ones are!
Penn Plaza
New York City, New York
Overheard by: That's what she said
Woman arguing on phone with husband: Calm down, please. I'm sending you a picture of a funny cat. Go look at the cat.
Ottawa
Ontario
Canadia
A man holding a child’s hand meets up with a woman holding another child’s hand.
Man and woman, simultaneously: I thought he was with you!
Man, turning to go back inside: I told you this would happen if you let them outnumber us.
Outside Bloomingdale’s, 59th Street
New York, New York
Overheard by: Kim Siddorn
Young wife to husband: You know the guy across the street, Jose*? I think he's gay.
Husband: I don't think he's gay, I think he's just Hispanic.
Belleview, Florida
Overheard by: He married into the family, I swear
