Manager: We are not going to use anyone as an escaped goat.
Columbia Mall
Grand Forks, North Dakota
Manager: We are not going to use anyone as an escaped goat.
Columbia Mall
Grand Forks, North Dakota
Suit: If we wanna make fun of freakin’ roosters, guess what?! We’re gonna make fun of freakin’ roosters.
3565 Atlanta Highway
Athens, Georgia
Guy: How are you going to tell your mom that you didn’t do your homework because you have a gorilla fetish?
Girl: It’s not a fetish, I’m just curious about their… stuff.
Guy: It’s still fucked up.
Washington Avenue Bridge, University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?
Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania
Girl #1, walking past: There was a ruckus in the office but we sorted it out.
Girl #2: It’s funny, whenever I think of the word ruckus I think of, like, chickens.
Girl #3: Oh my god, there were chickens in the office?
University Drive
Gold Coast, Australia
Overheard by: Jess
Maintenance tech #1: Animal Control is on the way to remove the dead skunk carcass. I’ll let you know when they get here.
Maintenance tech #2: Uh, go ahead and call them back and tell them not to come. We checked it out and it’s a used banana peel.
Maintenance tech #1: Ten-four.
6400 Legacy Drive
Plano, Texas
Overheard by: Shaking Head
Coworker #1: I think he had some kind of superdog
Coworker #2: What is a Superdog?
Coworker #1: I think they are dogs that do mouth-to-mouth resuscitation to retarded kids or something.
Coworker #2: Oh… okay, yeah, I know the ones.
5885 NW Cornelius Pass Road
Hillsboro, Oregon
Overheard by: Curious Listener
Office manager: I finally got pants on my monkey. But his tail won’t go through the hole.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
