Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?
1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois
Worker #1: That’s a great way to start the day. Talkin’ about dog farts and placentas.
Worker #2: Breakfast, anyone?
5885 11th Street
Rockford, Illinois
Co-worker #1: Make sure you eat some of the leftovers from the potluck.
Co-worker #2: Okay.
Co-worker #1: And you’d better hurry before [Nick] and [Sara] get in there and stuff their faces. They give pigs a bad name.
10011 109th Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia
CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?
1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Chastain
CIO on speaker: Time out guys, an animal just came into my
office…Cats aren’t allowed in my office till after 5.
2 Industrial Park Drive
Williamston, Michigan
Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.
150 Broadway
New York, NY
Cube monkey girl: I don't have any gray hairs on my head, but I have a gray patch down there.
Male coworker: Those are cobwebs, not gray hairs.
Las Vegas, Nevada
Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess
Office girl on phone: I finally found out why my hamsters aren't fucking! I have three girls!
Denham Springs, Louisiana
Overheard by: Erin
CCA #1: The client says his squirrel machine’s broken. What the hell is a squirrel machine?
CCA #2: One of those things with the wheel, where the squirrels run around?
CCA #1: I don’t think we provide those.
CCA #2: What’s the problem?
CCA #1: He says it’s broken.
CCA #2: Is he feeding it enough?
2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia
Auditor: Well, of course I'd rather pray to a waving kitten instead of a guy nailed on a cross. But it's blasphemous.
Watsonville, California
Overheard by: Calling HR Now
