Animals

Co-worker #1: Make sure you eat some of the leftovers from the potluck.
Co-worker #2: Okay.
Co-worker #1: And you’d better hurry before [Nick] and [Sara] get in there and stuff their faces. They give pigs a bad name.

10011 109th Street
Edmonton, Alberta
Canadia

CSA #1: So today is the official start of winter. Who cares?
CSA #2: To some people that is important.
CSA #1: Like who, bears?
CSA #2: To some people it’s a winter holiday
CSA #1: Like who, Canadians?

1000 Semmes Avenue
Richmond, Virginia

Overheard by: Chastain

CIO on speaker: Time out guys, an animal just came into my
office…Cats aren’t allowed in my office till after 5.

2 Industrial Park Drive
Williamston, Michigan

Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.

150 Broadway
New York, NY

Cube monkey girl: I don't have any gray hairs on my head, but I have a gray patch down there.
Male coworker: Those are cobwebs, not gray hairs.

Las Vegas, Nevada

Overheard by: Sex Writer Goddess

Office girl on phone: I finally found out why my hamsters aren't fucking! I have three girls!

Denham Springs, Louisiana

Overheard by: Erin

CCA #1: The client says his squirrel machine’s broken. What the hell is a squirrel machine?
CCA #2: One of those things with the wheel, where the squirrels run around?
CCA #1: I don’t think we provide those.
CCA #2: What’s the problem?
CCA #1: He says it’s broken.
CCA #2: Is he feeding it enough?

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Canadia

Auditor: Well, of course I'd rather pray to a waving kitten instead of a guy nailed on a cross. But it's blasphemous.

Watsonville, California

Overheard by: Calling HR Now

White female coworker, about guy holding exotic bird: That’s one of those talking birds.
Hispanic female coworker: Yeah, I’ve seen those before.
White female coworker: They can talk, but you can’t hold a conversation with them. They’re not that smart. They can’t answer when you ask them a question.
Hispanic female coworker: Uh-huh.

633 3rd Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Appalled

Law firm partner: How much does it cost to raise a cock?

Cherry Hill, New Jersey