Suits

Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Suit: We don’t need to do that right away, we can do it tomorrow.
Boss: We should do it today. Why put off until tomorrow what we can do today?
Suit: I was thinking about killing you yesterday.

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Suit #1: Over on 49th, there’s a truck parked with a bunch of girls dancing in bikinis. It’s to promote Cancun.
Suit #2: For you it’s to promote a heart attack.

383 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Suit: Um, you have some sort of foreign object in your hair.
Electrician: Yeah, they threw confetti at me at the last office.

111 West Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California

Angry suit: It’s like I need to come to every meeting if I want to know what’s actually going on!

Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: At EVERY Meeting

Suit #1: He was an okay analyst and he knew a lot about the markets, but–
Suit #2, interrupting: –So what was the problem?
Suit #1: Well, he was from the South so he couldn’t write very well.

110 Wall Street
New York, New York

Female suit to vendor on phone: Oh my god, I've been calling you nonstop. I'm like a girl in a white dress at her wedding, and her groom isn't there, and she's been calling him for two hours. That's how I feel.

Union Square
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Julie

Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.

245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY

Suit on cell: I don't want you shooting blanks in the dark…

New York City, New York

Overheard by: Traci C

Suit #1: So how have you been lately?
Suit #2: Eh, you know, overworked.
Suit #1: Yeah, same here…By the way, nice tan you’ve got there.
Suit #2: Thanks, you too.

590 Madison Avenue
New York, NY