Suits

Female suit: So I was on the elevator with him, and had to explain to Roger Ailes why I was in a bra and panties.

FOX News Headquarters
Manhattan, New York

Overheard by: Newsbunny

Suit: We are going to have to leverage everything in order to shift gears.
Employee: What?

615 Third Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Dwight Scott

EA: …she’s still learning to change a diaper and all that.
Suit: Really?
EA: Yeah, but it’s been extra hard emotionally because our family is really strict and my dad still can’t admit to himself that this happened. All he’s said is, “I sent you to private school! Don’t they have sex ed there?” and “How could this happen?” Which doesn’t help her at all.
Suit: No, probably not.
EA: It’s like, “Dad, the baby is already here, get a grip.” But, well, she’s the baby of the family and I guess we all know how fathers are.
Suit: No, actually, I don’t. I never met mine.

40 IDX Drive
South Burlington, Vermont

Overheard by: Bubble Wrap THIS

Suit: How do you spell “dyslexia”? I keep mixing up the letters.

3 Second Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Suit: Excuse me, can you help me pick out a docking station?
IT Girl: Isn’t that a personal decision?

1700 N. Beauregard Street
Alexandria, Virginia

Suit, about lady smoking crack on stoop: Isn’t she a little dressed up for a crackwhore?

3008 Lincoln Boulevard
Santa Monica, California

Overheard by: Not smoking any

Suit to intern: Why don't you have your boyfriend dig you out?

Milwaukee, Wisconsin

Suit #1: Well, you’ve heard more than I have. I can think of three candidates, then.
Suit #2: And one very close to you.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: There’s Bill.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And Mark.
Suit #1: Yes.
Suit #2: And that good-looking guy from Connecticut, the one with the hair.
Suit #1: Right.
Suit #2: Hmm.

140 Broadway
New York, NY

Suit #1: Hey, did the DB team ever send you that data for your report?
Suit #2: No.
Suit #1: Can't you just make up the numbers?
Suit #2: I would, but I already made up 60% of the numbers in the report.
Suit #1: 60%?
Suit #2: Yeah, generally 40% of the numbers in a report have to be accurate. It's an accepted standard.

Cleveland, Ohio

Suit on cell: Can I call you back in a minute? I’m about to, uh, walk the lizard. Okay, bye.
Guy in stall: It’s ‘drain the lizard,’ you idiot.

534 Broad Hollow Road
Melville, New York

Overheard by: Super Mike