Suit #1: He’s from England, from some place called Portsmouth. I think it’s spelled P-O-R-T-S-M-I-T-H, but it’s pronounced like Ports Mouth.
Suit #2: Wait. Is it Ports Mouth, or Ports Smith?
Suit #1: I don’t know. It’s some place in Europe, I think.

Kowloon, Hong Kong

Overheard by: Embarrassed American

Visiting European account manager: Hello [Katie], how nice to see you again. I am back for factory visit!
Chinese Sales Rep: Hi, welcome you to office again! You are look much fatter than last time! Every time, fatter and fatter!
Visiting European account manager: …yes…well…really…

188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China

Man: I’ve heard that you’ve been to New York before and tried to be a stripper there.
Woman: Yeah, I’ve taken my ass back now.

Shanghai, China

Peon, slamming down phone: That client is so goddamn dumb! I swear to god, every time I talk to him, I get more and more stupider.

International Finance Centre
Hong Kong

Peon #1: Mmmm… I love these doughnuts. I could even eat them without the icing, the dough is so soft.
Peon #2: Like your flesh.

Tim Mei Avenue
Hong Kong

Visiting European account manager: Oh, you have a new cell! I guess it was time to get a new one?
Chinese Project Manager: Yes, this morning I come to work and I am robbed by bandits. So, I have to get a new cell phone.
Visiting European account manager: Ha ha ha ha ha! Ha…ha…Heh. Oh. Oh dear. Are you ok?
Chinese Project Manager (in Chinese): Is she drunk?

188 Dong Cheng Da Dao
Dong Guan, China

Overheard by: Adam White

Employee #1: Helen, what’s your e-mail address?
Employee #2: H-E-H-E-Q-I-N@[overheard].com
Employee #1: So that’s H-E-E-E–
Employee #2: No, H-E-H-E.
Employee #1: Okay, like “hee hee”?
Employee #2: Yes. Q-I–
Employee #1: “Hee hee chin chee”?
Employee #2: No.

1088 Yanan West Road
Shanghai, China

Overheard by: Tom Will

Co-worker: Okay class, now I will read the dialogue to you and
afterwards ask you questions about it.

He reads the dialogue.

Co-worker: So class, I didn’t actually hear and don’t remember anything that I just said so can someone tell me?

Beijao, Shunde, Foshan
Guang dong, China

Overheard by: lost in translation

Guy to friend: I need to get a girlfriend just for like a week or so. Just to get that stench on me. Besides, girls dig guys with hairy arms.


Secretary: Stop it… Stop it! I will menstruate all over you!

Citic Tower
Hong Kong