Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Colleague on phone: I want to got to Mexico in May, but I don't want to miss Cinco de Mayo.

Boston, Massachusetts

Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher

Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!

Dayton, Ohio

Amtrak conductor #1: There's no quiet car on this train, folks.
Amtrak conductor #2: That's right. This is the party train. We gonna get arrested tonight.

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: enigmattic

Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Derrick McClure

Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.

Springdale, Arkansas

Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.

Fresno, California

Tour guide: And this here is what we call a “grotto,” from the French word for “water.”

Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York