Colleague on phone: I want to got to Mexico in May, but I don't want to miss Cinco de Mayo.

Boston, Massachusetts

Boss: He's going to either London or England. I'm not sure which.

Pasadena, California

Overheard by: Paper Pusher

Voice in next cubicle: I forgot how much I hate space travel.

Fort Leavenworth, Kansas

Coworker: King Tut's tomb didn't make you sick, moron, it was eating all the testicles!

Dayton, Ohio

Amtrak conductor #1: There's no quiet car on this train, folks.
Amtrak conductor #2: That's right. This is the party train. We gonna get arrested tonight.

South Station
Boston, Massachusetts

Overheard by: enigmattic

Minister: At least I know where I'm going when I die… Heaven.
Drunk worker: Yeah, I'm going there too.
Minister: You gotta change first.
Drunk worker: I know, I just did…

Jacksonville, Florida

Overheard by: Derrick McClure

Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.

Springdale, Arkansas

Tech: Did you speak a lot of German?
Office girl, just back from England: Um, I don't speak German.
Tech: Oh, so they all speak English over there?
Office girl: No, I just didn't go to Germany.

Fresno, California

Tour guide: And this here is what we call a “grotto,” from the French word for “water.”

Secret Caverns
Cobleskill, New York

Cubicle #1: Since I have to travel through Virginia next week, I’m going to take Amy*’s suggestion and get a mega millions ticket. The powerball isn’t working out so well for me.
Cubicle #2: My husband laughs at me because I want to keep working if I win the lottery.
Cubicle #3: What!?
Cubicle #2: Yeah, I want to keep working.
Cubicle #3: Well…
Cubicle #1 & #3, in unison: I wouldn’t work here.

England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina