Pharmacist: Okay, that prescription will be filled in 45 minutes.
Old man: Oh my, I’ll be dead by then!

Santa Barbara, California

Customer: I want to pay my bill. I know it’s two months overdue, so I
wanted to come and pay it in person.
Customer Service: According to our records they shut off your cable today.
Customer: But they said I had until today to pay the bill.
Customer Service: Well, your cable has been shut off today.
Customer: But today’s not over yet!
Customer Service: It is for you.

11020 Flatlands Avenue
Brooklyn, New York

Overheard by: Paul 

Employee on phone with customer: I just need to do a couple of other things, cross my Xs and circle my Os. Then I can get back to you.

Staten Island, New York

Overheard by: That Staten Island Guy

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Customer: Ummm… What’s in a veggie sandwich?
(short pause)
Employee: Uh, veggies.
(short pause)
Customer: Oh. Okay. I’ll have a veggie sandwich.

Subway Sandwich Shop
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: ‘Chelle

(desk girl is on long, heated phone call with same client for fifth time before noon, hangs up, and sighs)
Coworker: Do you hear them in your sleep?

West Main Street
Aspen, Colorado

Coworker: Would you like some tomato sauce with that muffin?
Customer: (blank look)
Coworker: Ah, shit.


Overheard by: Alaska

Old woman at check‐in desk: I used to have a lot more sex when I was younger… There weren’t any TVs back then.

Main Street
Wolfville, Nova Scotia

Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You’re right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.

Chicago, Illinois

Customer: Hello, Phyllis, how are you today?
Worker: I’m not Phyllis, I’m Kay.
Customer: Your name tag says Phyllis.
Worker: No, it doesn’t. It says Kay, see? P‑H‐Y… oops!… wrong name tag.

Westmoreland Mall
Greensburg, Pennsylvania