Woman: You know I’m afraid of birds, don’t you? It’s because of that movie and the time my mother burned down a gas station.
Cal State Northridge
Northridge, California
Overheard by: Scott
Woman: You know I’m afraid of birds, don’t you? It’s because of that movie and the time my mother burned down a gas station.
Cal State Northridge
Northridge, California
Overheard by: Scott
Trainee: Would you mind closing that window? The cold air is making my skin peel off.
London
England
Bearded employee: Man, I think I have beer on my glasses.
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Laughing Librarian
Scientist #1 to intern, smacking him in the face with a latex glove: I challenge you to a duel! [Intern rolls his eyes and walks away.] Interns these days — they don’t have a sense of humor.
Scientist #2: Does it really matter? He could be a psycho serial killer, but as long as he does my work for me I don’t really care.
701 East Pratt Street
Baltimore, Maryland
Designer: I’m bored and all the bathrooms are full.
605 Lakeview Drive
Springdale, Arizona
Overheard by: so what?
Mid-life crisis coworker: Hi, this is James*. You remember me? Good. Well, I was just calling to tell you that there’s lettuce on my bagel, and I ordered no lettuce, no tomato, and this is the third time this has happened. You guys make great food, but this is unacceptable and I thought you should be aware of your error.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
Peon to another at two-hour mark in meeting: I’d poop in my chair if I thought it would make this meeting more interesting.
Lakewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Couldn’t have hurt — mighta helped
Chick: What is this, pedophile music?
Munkegata, Oslo
Norway
Waitress: And so the guy from the health department says we have, like, one day to get this shit cleaned up or he is shutting us down. Oh my god, he’s right! Look at all this crap in the bottom of the ice… [As two customers walk in] Oh, hello. Two for dinner?
Diner
Maine
Overheard by: brian brinegar
