Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.
201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Owner #1: We need to get the freezer fixed.
Owner #2: Well, we can call [ColdCo].
Owner #1: [ColdCo] raped us last time!
Owner #2: True. But this way at least we know our rapist.
201 North 78th Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Marketer: There’s nothing sexy about turkey.
Writer: No.
Marketer: What about, “Need a way to keep from stuffing yourself? Go have an orgasm!”
8885 Venice Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Manager: How dare you besmirch my good name and then saunter into my office as though nothing was said? Out, out infidel!
Writer: Oh…that’s just how I roll.
650 Technology Park
Lake Mary, Florida
Project Engineer: We have relatively clear instructions, kind of.
4170 Santa Fe Road
San Luis Obispo, California
Co-worker #1: It’s so dry in here, I can feel the skin on my face drying up from the inside out.
Co-worker #2: Do you use moisturizer?
Co-worker #1: Oh yes, if I didn’t my face would look just like my grandpa’s…and he’s been dead for seven years.
1301 West Chestnut Street
Virginia, Minnesota
Co-worker: We work with fucking children. There are boogers all over the bathroom walls again!
6000 Windward Parkway
Alpharetta, Georgia
Co-worker #1: My diet is going really well. I have hardly eaten
anything today.
Co-Worker #2: Oh really?
Co-Worker #1: Yeah, I have had only three hot dogs and two hamburgers.
860 Levoy Drive
Salt Lake City, Utah
Co-worker #1: I just got tricked into using a pen that shocked me!
Co-worker #2: Oh, no. You okay?
Co-worker #1: Well, shocking throws off your electroids…
Co-worker #2: Electroids? What are those?
Co-worker #1: …Well, electroid is not in here, but this is an old dictionary.
600 Willowbrook Office Park
Fairport, New York
Sales engineer: Hey, you can’t use that, that’s a sales punch!
Accountant: Care to see a finance punch?
59 Marsh Lane
Solihull, West Midlands
UK
