No Thanks, I’m Driving

Specialist: Did you know that one of the most recognizable smells is the smell of crayons?
Manager: What about glue?

2700 W Plano Parkway
Dallas, Texas

Overheard by: soolka

Posted on November 11, 2025
Bosses, Consultants, General Idiocy, Questions, Sensory Experiences, Texas

Different Day, Same Shit

Building manager: Did you get that poop under control?
Maintenance guy: I’ll deal with it on Monday.

7025 Kit Creek Road
Research Triangle Park, North Carolina

Overheard by: mac774

Posted on November 4, 2025
Blue Collar, Bosses, Questions, Restroom, Time Management

Well, It Is and It Isn’t

Supervisor: She used to wear all sorts of things in her hair, and then one day she showed up with a condom, and we were like, ‘Honey, that’s not a scrunchie.’

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Posted on October 21, 2025
Bosses, General Idiocy, Gossip, New Jersey, Physical Appearance

I Thought That Was Supposed to be Happening in Your Office?

Boss: Jeez Louise, we’re just nailing each other over here!

Kansas City, Missouri

Posted on October 21, 2025
Bosses, Gripes, Missouri, Outbursts, Sexuality

Of Course If We Fire Her, We’ll Have the Expense of Training Another Screamer

General manager: Should we fire Missy*? She was screaming at you in front of other employees.
Manager #1: I don’t know. What does Missy* feel we should do to her?
General manager: Uh, I didn’t ask her.
Manager #2: She thinks we should buy her a pizza and give her a raise. What the fuck do you think she feels we should do to her?

Indianapolis, Indiana

Posted on October 18, 2025
Bosses, General Idiocy, Hiring & Firing, Indiana

But One You Must Learn to Relish Here at Festering Fruit International

Supervisor: A warm banana is an acquired taste.

Park Ave
New York City

Posted on October 15, 2025
Bosses, Compliments, Executives, New York, Sensory Experiences

He’s Manager for a Reason

Restaurant manager, to hobo panhandling inside the restaurant: You need to leave right now.
Hobo: Man, how you know I not here for some crab cakes and fine wine?
Restaurant manager: Because you have human shit all over your pants.

Illinois Street
Indianapolis, Indiana

Overheard by: Shatmandu

Posted on October 13, 2025
Bosses, Comebacks, Health & Hygiene, Indiana, Questions, Restroom, Strangers

But not While Practicing; We’ve Had Very Mixed Results with That

Account manager on phone: How can she be a virgin? She’s a doctor! Would you want your doctor to be a virgin? I think by law, you should have to have sex before you are able to practice medicine.

171 Nepean
Ottawa, Ontario

Overheard by: Smithout