New Jersey

Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.

121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ

Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz

Co-worker: My nickname at work is Blondie. For some reason, everywhere I work my nickname ends up being Blondie. And I don’t even tell them that was my nickname before!

193 Maple Avenue
North Plainfield, New Jersey

Overheard by: Megan

Computer tech: how often you clean your hard drive?
Customer: Once in a while, but I always use Windex.

27 Scotch Road
Trenton, New Jersey

Overheard by: chris doan

CSR: I feel bad though that I’m leaving — I really like it here.
Manager: Oh, don’t feel bad. We got our money’s worth out of you.
Supervisor: Uh.
Manager: Um, I know, that sounds bad, huh. What I mean is that we, as a company, would much rather hire smart people who leave after two years than stupid people who stay here for, like, forty.
CSR: Thanks?

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

Overheard by: office peon

Suit #1: Why is the boss laughing like that?
Suit #2: She’s reading the staff’s self evaluations.

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Director: Thanks for all your help on that project.
Peon: No problem…It’s not like I had a choice.

473 Ridge Road
Dayton, New Jersey

VP Sales: I’m big on giving it all up to the client. You know, easy access.
Peon: I’ve heard that about you.

716 Main Street
Boonton, New Jersey

Suit: We don’t need to do that right away, we can do it tomorrow.
Boss: We should do it today. Why put off until tomorrow what we can do today?
Suit: I was thinking about killing you yesterday.

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.

2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chuck Roast

Marketing Manager: We have to prepare for the unexpected. For example, there was the one time last summer when AT&T went down on me for five painful hours, and there was just nothing we could do about it.

111 River Street
Hoboken, New Jersey