Coworkers

10AM Update Report

Assistant: How about an update on the report for the database we talked about last week? Have you gotten to that yet?
IT: I’m not sure which one you’re talking about.
Assistant: Well, currently there is a cross-tab that displays home addresses and a cross-tab that displays financial aid, but we need a report to show us the student records by state with home address, and we need a find-sort for all students with financial aid and a hold on their account.
IT guy: …Um, I couldn’t tell where that sentence began and where it ended.
Dean’s assistant: Neither could I.

633 Main Street
Burlington, Vermont

9AM Climbing Back to Work

Worker #1: Oh my, I hate these elevators. You never know what you’re gonna get, kinda like those roller coasters. You know, they really have a mind of their own.
Worker #2: Yeah! And then you have these crazy doors, too, where you need to do the karate chop to make them stay open. And you do it and you say to yourself, “Oh heavens, this is one karate fight I’m not gonna win!”

1450 Broadway
New York, NY

1PM Lunch

Worker: [The boss] treats me like I’m his little daughter or something. That’s a lot of pressure. I can’t be perfect all of the time.

180 East Ocean Boulevard
Long Beach, California

12PM Programming

Front Desk: What does code 99499 mean?
Coder: “You’re a dirty whore.”
Front Desk: They have codes for that?

675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

1PM Lunch

Girl: So Friday’s your last day?
Guy: Yeah, I’ll be working closer to home. I have an hour long drive to get here from my house.
Girl: Good thing you’ll be working closer to home. Traffic will suck your soul.

800 South Douglas Road
Coral Gables, Florida

4PM Find New Temp

Co-worker #1: I can’t believe that they fired that temp.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, he wasn’t working very hard and he was goofing off.
Co-worker #1: That’s not very fair. By the way, do you have the new football pool sheet? I lost mine.

4950 College Boulevard
Leawood, Kansas

Overheard by: Ron Zinn

3PM Smoke Break

Worker #1: That guy really gets on my nerves with his whistling.
Worker #2: Hey [Bryan]! Whistle from where I fucked you last.

21100 Rogers Drive
Rogers, Minnesota

1PM Lunch

Co-worker #1: Oh, you look nice. Are you going somewhere?
Co-worker #2: No, I just never went home last night.

2105 Bancroft Way
Berkeley, California

12PM Meeting with Devs (Con’td)

Web Developer: Nobody ever made money off the internet with a business model that required two hands!

845 High Street
Palo Alto, California

4PM Order New Fan

Co-worker #1: You should get that fan fixed. It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind it.
Co-worker #1: It’s really loud.
Co-worker #2: I don’t mind. I just pretend I’m working in my private jet at 30,000 feet. It’s noisy for a computer fan but it’s really quiet for a jet.

2137 Highway 35
Holmdel, New Jersey

Overheard by: Chuck Roast

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