Coworkers

Co-Worker: I sent out the class rosters for summer term to all the faculty and got an e-mail back from one guy wanting to know why he can’t find his name on the list. Because it’s the list of his students! How did he get to be a teacher!?

1400 Penn Avenue
Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: The Temp

Intern: When is Bush’s last term?
Employee: Um, right now. It ends in ’08.
Intern: Good. ‘Cause he’s stupid.

1065 Williams Street
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: Is summer over yet?

Woman #1: I saw The Devil Wears Prada this weekend. It was really good, especially Marlon Brando.
Woman #2: Marlon Brando?
Woman #1: You know, that lady! What’s her name?
Woman #2: Meryl Streep. Marlon Brando is dead. And a man.

245 5th Avenue
New York, New York

Co-Worker #1: I was just over at [your new boss]’s office, and the first thing I noticed was that it’s really quiet over there!
Co-Worker #2: Oh, I know.
Co-Worker #1: No, really, you’re going to go crazy! It was almost nine o’clock, and nobody was talking! You’ll have to play yourself some music or something.
Co-Worker #2: Yeah.
Co-Worker #1: So I decided what I’ll do is call you sometimes and just yell over the phone!

Collegeville, Pennsylvania

Co-Worker #1: Do you have to dust your desk all the time with your window shade open?
Co-Worker #2: No, why?
Co-Worker #1: Because of all the sun.
Co-Worker #2: Huh?
Co-Worker #1: Dust comes from sunlight.

4725 North Scottsdale Road
Scottsdale, Arizona

Worker #1: I went to all the liquor stores this morning, and they were closed. They don’t open until 10 AM.
Worker #2: Well, that’s retarded. Haven’t they ever heard of mimosas?
Worker #1: Or alcoholics?

37 West 20 Street
New York, New York

Overheard by: shenanigan

Builder #1: Do we have a hole puncher?
Builder #2: Yeah, it’s over there near Diane’s* fat arse.
Builder #1: You can’t say that! That’s sexual harrassment! Diane, don’t worry, love. You’ve got a great arse.

Construction Site Office
Townsville, Australia

Overheard by: Naomi

Co-Worker: She sounds like she has a lot of cats. Like 40. She probably lives with these forty cats and has a pathetic life. Just listen to that voice.

5th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Nicole J.

Guy #1: Who was Chief then?
Guy #2: According to the record, Dick Eaton.
Guy #3: Wait. Dick Eaton? So if he were filling out a form today, last name first, he’d be…
Guy #1: You’re right! Case closed, that says it all!

26 Federal Plaza
New York, New York

Overheard by: R. Smith

European: Did you just use the word “impetus”? I think you’re the first American I have heard use that word.

3695 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, California

Overheard by: bbs