Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
Office guy: He’s married with two kids, but all he does is play Xbox.
Office girl: That’s not good.
Office guy: Well, he does find time to do other things, like, you know, play with his kids and smoke weed.
Connecticut
Lady #1: Is your husband feeling any better?
Lady #2: No, but I am getting better at avoiding him and ignoring him.
5760 East Highway 80
Pearl, Mississippi
Overheard by: Brain Dancing
Valley girl: I could not believe it — they were showing her vah-jay-jay over and over.
Office bathroom, 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Maintenance man #1: Oooh, my date last night had some fine titties.
Maintenance man #2: Yes siree, when we hooked up I loved me some of them.
Maintenance man #3: I’ve seen better than hers. [Gesturing to passerby] Look at those. But I guess I’d have to see them naked to really compare.
Office building, House of Representatives
Washington, DC
Incompetent project manager, after asking redundant questions: Um… Are you going to charge this time to my project?
Competent cube dweller: Oh, yeah, I’m gonna charge this! I’m gonna charge the fuck outta this project!
940 6th Avenue SW
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
Overheard by: Carver Stone
Employee to another: You’re down on your hands and knees eating a banana. How do you not know what that symbolizes?
Route 209 and Weir Lake Road
Brodheadsville, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: CW
Coworker #1: Did you drive or take the train today?
Coworker #2: Train.
Coworker #1: What time are you leaving?
Coworker #2: I don’t know…
Coworker #1: Oh, I think I’m leaving before that.
Office building, 47th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York
Garbage man to another: I was driving a truck on the on-ramp and I seen a naked guy runnin’ alongside the freeway. I yelled at him, ‘Yeah! Way to go! Naked people are cool!’ It wasn’t like it gave me a chub or anything.
Garbage company
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: the dispatcher whose heard it all
Indian woman: I gave my 11-year-old son his introduction to sex last night.
White woman: Uh… What did you do with him?
Indian woman: I explained to him everything he needed to know. It’s part of our traditions.
White woman: You explained to him about orgasms, and where the clitoris is?
Indian woman: Oh, yes, and I was quite surprised to find out how much he already knew.
White woman: Such as…?
Indian woman: He told me he knew what the G-spot was, and how to find it.
White woman: Where would an 11-year-old boy learn about things like that?
Indian woman: From his friends. Many of them have sisters and mothers who they have seen in the nude.
White woman: Well, uh, good luck.
DMV office
Westbury, New York
Overheard by: Big Larry
Old coworker: You don’t know anything about the Beatles.
Young coworker: Sure I do. They were influenced by the Monkees.
90 5th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Shaun G
