Office drone: It’s like… once you see the purple elephant walk into the room, you just don’t care.
490 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: django
Office drone: It’s like… once you see the purple elephant walk into the room, you just don’t care.
490 1st Avenue South
St. Petersburg, Florida
Overheard by: django
Office peon: That John Wilkes Booth — they just didn’t shoot Lincoln soon enough.
Arlington, Texas
Office grunt: There’s nothing wrong with grandmas… Like you’ve never wanted a GILF!
1440 South Clearview Avenue
Mesa, Arizona
Garbageman on phone: I am calling in sick. I took some Cialis and I have had an erection for more than four hours… Has anyone used that excuse before?
Dispatcher: No, not that I recall.
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: dispatcher who has heard it all
Coworker #1: She got to the point where she couldn’t leave the house anymore. She had that — what do you call it — homophobia.
Coworker #2: Ah, I think you mean ‘agoraphobia.’
Coworker #1: No, I’m pretty sure it’s homophobia.
Coworker #2: … If you say so.
187 Thomas Street
Sydney
Australia
Coworker: You see that door right there? We can fit, like, nine minors in there!
Bloomington, Indiana
Flight attendant #1: I used to get high before studying for tests. Did you ever try it?
Flight attendant #2: No, no, I never did that.
Flight attendant #1: It really works… Hey, did you study the new rules for flights shorter than two hours? Lots of information.
Flight attendant #2: Are you high right now?
Flight attendant #1: … Why do you ask?
United flight
Nebraska
Overheard by: Ken
Worker #1: Wow, that’s a large bush, Pat*.
Worker #2: Yeah…
Worker #1: I mean, it’s nice! Do you think it’s large?
Worker #2: A little, but I like it.
1700 Montgomery Street
San Francisco, California
Overheard by: stephanie
Woman, before using phone: Don’t listen to me — I have to lie.
745 Boylston Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Peon to another at two-hour mark in meeting: I’d poop in my chair if I thought it would make this meeting more interesting.
Lakewood, Colorado
Overheard by: Couldn’t have hurt — mighta helped
