Cashier #1: I don’t understand why people act like such assholes to us, you know?
Cashier #2: Because they know we can’t say anything back.
Cashier #1: But… for all they know we could be mentally unbalanced and one little comment from them could send us over the edge, and we could get their addresses and hack them into pieces one night.
Cashier #2: I’m telling my mama not to go through your line no more, you crazy bitch.
Grocery store
Farmville, North Carolina
Overheard by: MB
Coworker #1: I wonder who’ll get the Pfizer account…
Coworker #2: I hope I do! I love reading about erections!
Fort Point
Boston, Massachusetts
Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Employee: Everything about my life sucks right now! I need to go home, and I need to have a shower, and I need to get laid by someone who knows what he’s doing for once, and then I need to go to bed.
Sackville
New Brunswick
Canadia
Overheard by: Mel
English coworker: I’m just going outside to suck on a fag.
Irvine, California
Overheard by: James
Male peon #1: Does anybody want anything from the vending machine?
Female peon: Bring me back some Jesus!
Male peon #2: I’ll just take a ginger ale.
Boston, Massachusetts
Trashy coworker: Don’t ya hate when you’re on the rag and your husband rolls over in the night with a boner, wantin’ to poke ya?
Franklin Street
Boston, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Violet White
Colleague, about her cat: Ever since I got those balloons delivered to my house on my birthday, she’s really been into rubber.
Yonge Street and St. Clair Avenue
Toronto, Ontario
Canadia
Male peon to another: Now I have to go and wash my butt, and that’s no fun!
1176 Crooks Road
Troy, Michigan
Office girl #1: White chocolate is such a sham. They take out the best part.
Office girl #2: The brown?
Southlake, Texas
