Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.
São Paulo
Brazil
Slutty coworker: Oh, I just joined the most fantastic group in MySpace, XYZ Friends*. It’s incredible. You don’t even have to look for men — you just join and men fly all over you.
Snarky coworker: You flaming parakeet.
São Paulo
Brazil
Grunt #1: Shit, the bombs aren’t in the bags.
Grunt #2: Awww, fuck it. Let’s go get a hamburger.
New York, New York
Overheard by: Thrax
Editor to coworker whose loud text alert goes off in meeting: Matt*, when your crotch cries out, we all stop and take notice.
Bay Avenue
Stafford, New Jersey
Overheard by: inothernews
Secretary: Does it involve undergarments? If so, I’m not there.
Norristown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: Lan
Secretary #1: Here, I’ll trade you dark chocolate for my chocolate.
Secretary #2: No, I like dark chocolate.
Secretary #1: Why does the white man have to take all the dark chocolate? That’s the last piece of dark chocolate, and I’m dark so I should eat it! You ate all the white chocolate last week because you’re white, and now you’re going to have all the dark chocolate, too, just like the white man does to everything!
Secretary #2, eating dark chocolate: It’s all mine now. Look at this! [Opens mouth.]Secretary #1, muttering to herself and walking away: Just like the white man…
11330 Pierce Street
Riverside, California
Overheard by: Kevin
Secretary: Did Taryn* come back from the doctor’s?
Chart drone: Yeah, she said the doctor put a stiffener in her.
Secretary: Good, that will help her.
Long Island, New York
Overheard by: phoenix, best analyst ever
Woman: My tooth fell out yesterday. You know, chewing gum and blood taste quite nice together.
Suit: You are a vampire.
Woman: No, actually, I’m a werewolf.
Suit: [Moves away.]
Rozemblum
Tel-Aviv
Israel
Large male peon: Oh, I usually take the stairs. Do you mind if we take the stairs?
Large lady peon: Yeah, no-no-no. That’s absolutely fine. I take the stairs all the time. Absolutely. So long as it isn’t up.
Opperman Drive
Eagan, Minnesota
Overheard by: I’m taking the elevator
Grunt #1: Is that a wine bottle in the front seat of your car?
Grunt #2: Yes. I like to drink on my way to work.
Owings Mills, Maryland
Overheard by: widget
Office chick: How was your weekend?
Office guy: I got a sunburn! Look, my skin is flaking off! [Rubs his arm.]Office chick: Stop! You’re flaking into my coffee!
San Antonio, Texas
