Coworkers

Cube #1: It’s so cloudy out today; is there an Armageddon scheduled that I didn’t know about?
Cube #2: I think it’s supposed to rain.
Cube #1: Well, since you’re closest to the window it’s your responsibility to inform the rest of us if the rain contains a plague of locusts. Tough break, but that’s the responsibility that comes with good cubicle location.

1944 East Sky Harbor Circle
Phoenix, Arizona

Trader: Happy 75th, old man! We got the pizza for your birthday.
Senior Trader: I would have rather gotten a blowjob.

30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker: The worst thing you can do is pull over on the side of the road and get into your trunk. It’s a good way to get yourself killed.

1201 West Peachtree Street NW
Atlanta, Georgia

Clerk #1: Hey [David], what are you up to?
Clerk #2: Working. You should try it sometime.

1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska

Co-worker #1: I have my big meeting tomorrow.
Co-worker #2: What meeting?
Co-worker #1: You know! The meeting where I’m going to stand up and say, “Fuck this! I quit!”

122 South Main Street
Ann Arbor, Michigan

Drone #1: Do you need the reports immediately?
Drone #2: Yeah, but not right now.

2929 North 44th Street
Phoenix, Arizona

Worker: What?
Boss: What?
Worker: Were you talking to me?
Boss: No, to myself.
Worker: Sorry.
Boss: How dare you eavesdrop on a conversation I’m having with myself!

8403 South Park Circle
Orlando, Florida

Overheard by: Mary H

VP:I swear to God, the assistant at [DouglasCo] is so stupid.
Admin: Hey, even stupid people need jobs.
Coworker: Yeah. Some of them even make it to VP.

388 Greenwich Street
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: Hey, we get off for February 20th, too.
Co-worker #2: Oh, for President’s Day? Wait, when is Independence Day? That’s in the summer, right?
Co-worker #1: Uh, yeah, that’s July 4th.

175 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Peter H

Marketing: Oh my god, I don’t know what is going on with this, but I swear, I had to look up so many big words while I was doing this thing; Like…”ire“? “Emu“? What the hell are these?

421 NW Riverside Drive
Evansville, Indiana