London

Worker #1: How do you spell “vulnerable”? V-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e?
Worker #2: No, it has an “l” in it. V-u-l…
Worker #1: Pfff, no. It’s v-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.
Worker #2: It has an “l” in it. V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.

Worker #1 gets the dictionary and struggles to find it under v-u-n.

Worker #1: Oh…How peculiar! Hang on.
Worker #2: V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e. Would you like me to give you the Latin root and related words? Vulnerare…vulnus…
Worker #1: Well, I never! It has an “l” in it! Well, well. You don’t pronounce it like that, though. What’s the “l” for?
Worker #2: …It’s for making it a real word.

200 Green Lanes
Palmers Green, London
UK

Overheard by: Peachey

Senior consultant: Hey, what’s the difference between four and five?
Consultant: How am I getting paid less than you?

Waterloo, London

Overheard by: he said what I was thinking

Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?

London
England

Overheard by: Bemused Techie

Admin: It says here, “his marriage stopped due to alcohol and wanking too much.”
Pause
Admin: Hold on…… maybe it says “working to much.”

101 Whitechapel Road
London, UK

Overheard by: nurse

Inadequate manager called Chris*, muttering quietly to himself in different voices: You're a hero, Chris. (pause) I know I am, Chris, I'm a real hero. (pause) Chris, I'm just the best.

Council Office
London
England

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.

London
England

Overheard by: Who's Frank?

Woman #1: I hate these bloody name tags!
Woman #2: I know! The straps are so long! Everyone keeps peering down at your belly before looking up at your face!
Woman #1: I prefer the name tags you can clip on your lapel…
Woman #2: Yes, at my age I’d actually rather men stared at my tits and not at my stomach.
Old woman exiting stall: Honey, at my age you’re chuffed if they look anywhere at all!

Conference, St. Andrews Place
London
England

New girl: I'm going downstairs for a smoke before we start checking over. Do you want to come?
Supervisor: No thanks, I just think I'll sit here and fiddle…not with myself!
New girl: Whatever you want to do in your own time.
Supervisor: Hur-hur, yeah, I just sit here and fiddle with myself to unwind. (later, realising new girl has left) Fiddle.

Chiswick Park
London
England

Overheard by: choking on a coke

Admin: Well, it's not every day that you see a pig being chased by a monkey.

Clerkenwell Road
London
England

Overheard by: Murray

Colleague, brandishing roll of Fablon: Play with me, it's fun. Oh, go on, sword me!

London
England