5PM That’s a Wrap

Worker #1: How do you spell “vulnerable”? V-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e?
Worker #2: No, it has an “l” in it. V-u-l…
Worker #1: Pfff, no. It’s v-u-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.
Worker #2: It has an “l” in it. V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e.

Worker #1 gets the dictionary and struggles to find it under v-u-n.

Worker #1: Oh…How peculiar! Hang on.
Worker #2: V-u-l-n-e-r-a-b-l-e. Would you like me to give you the Latin root and related words? Vulnerare…vulnus…
Worker #1: Well, I never! It has an “l” in it! Well, well. You don’t pronounce it like that, though. What’s the “l” for?
Worker #2: …It’s for making it a real word.

200 Green Lanes
Palmers Green, London
UK

Overheard by: Peachey

Posted on December 8, 2023
Comebacks, Coworkers, General Idiocy, London, Words

Here, I’ll Show You with My Fingers — The Difference Is the Long One in the Middle

Senior consultant: Hey, what’s the difference between four and five?
Consultant: How am I getting paid less than you?

Waterloo, London

Overheard by: he said what I was thinking

Posted on March 10, 2023
Comebacks, Consultants, General Idiocy, London, Money, Questions

And Now the Nightly News With Poet William Wordsworth

Sales drone: I thought nature was dead?

London
England

Overheard by: Bemused Techie

Posted on October 3, 2022
Death, General Idiocy, London, Questions, Sales

9AM Back to Work

Admin: It says here, “his marriage stopped due to alcohol and wanking too much.”
Pause
Admin: Hold on…… maybe it says “working to much.”

101 Whitechapel Road
London, UK

Overheard by: nurse

Posted on July 13, 2022
Admins, London, Relationships, Sexuality, Words

The Worst Is When They Start Fighting

Inadequate manager called Chris*, muttering quietly to himself in different voices: You're a hero, Chris. (pause) I know I am, Chris, I'm a real hero. (pause) Chris, I'm just the best.

Council Office
London
England

Posted on May 3, 2022
Admins, Compliments, General Idiocy, London, Philosophy, Weirdness

Delegating My Memory May Have Been a Mistake

Managing director: Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?
Past retirement age CEO: What did Frank say about my hair?
Managing director: Nothing, I said “Don't you think Frank should get a haircut?”
Past retirement age CEO: What did he say about my hair?
Entire office: Frank hasn't said anything about your hair!
(phone rings)
Past retirement age CEO, answering phone: Hello, Frank speaking–I mean, Graham speaking.

London
England

Overheard by: Who's Frank?

Posted on March 25, 2022
Age and ageing, Bosses, Coworkers, General Idiocy, London, Names, Physical Appearance, Questions

Of Course, the Functional Invisibility Is Good for Robbing Banks

Woman #1: I hate these bloody name tags!
Woman #2: I know! The straps are so long! Everyone keeps peering down at your belly before looking up at your face!
Woman #1: I prefer the name tags you can clip on your lapel…
Woman #2: Yes, at my age I’d actually rather men stared at my tits and not at my stomach.
Old woman exiting stall: Honey, at my age you’re chuffed if they look anywhere at all!

Conference, St. Andrews Place
London
England

Posted on November 29, 2021
Coworkers, England, Gripes, London

Meanwhile, Rome Burned.

New girl: I'm going downstairs for a smoke before we start checking over. Do you want to come?
Supervisor: No thanks, I just think I'll sit here and fiddle…not with myself!
New girl: Whatever you want to do in your own time.
Supervisor: Hur-hur, yeah, I just sit here and fiddle with myself to unwind. (later, realising new girl has left) Fiddle.

Chiswick Park
London
England

Overheard by: choking on a coke