Suit #1: So how have you been lately?
Suit #2: Eh, you know, overworked.
Suit #1: Yeah, same here…By the way, nice tan you’ve got there.
Suit #2: Thanks, you too.
590 Madison Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?
1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Manager: Does anyone else hear an ice cream truck?
Office: …
Manager: I need a vacation so bad.
625 Second Street
San Francisco, California
Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.
Springdale, Arkansas
Middle‐aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle‐aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle‐aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85‐year‐old men want is phone sex.
20‐something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.
Midtown Building
New York City, New York
Fat nurse: I’m real excited! I’m going to the Mexican Riviera next month.
Lanky nurse: Uh, isn’t it called the French Riviera?
Fat nurse: No, I think it’s Mexican, but you could be right — that sounds familiar.
Lanky nurse: I’ve always wanted to see the French Riviera.
Fat nurse: Yeah, me too. I can’t wait.
1st Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: dr mike
Records tech: I used to have more vacation time before I worked [in this department]! But I guess since I started taking vacations…
Manning Drive
Chapel Hill, North Carolina
Overheard by: seftiri
Co‐worker #1: Are you okay?
Co‐worker #2: I’m okay. But if I could slap people through the phone, others wouldn’t be okay.
515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Peter Gibbons
Woman on phone: If I sign up for a campus tour will I get to see the campus?
Male coworker: Tell her we lock her in a closet.
University
Eastern Michigan
Woman #1: I’m pregnant again.
Woman #2: On purpose?
Woman #3, sighing: I need a rest from all these ass‐wipes that work here. I need a little hospital‐ and daytime TV R and R.
Montvale, New Jersey
