Tourist: Do you have any Opera?
Employee: We have The Marriage of Figaro.
Tourist: Hmmm, no. What about Lion King?
TKTS booth, Leicester Square
London
England
Tourist: Do you have any Opera?
Employee: We have The Marriage of Figaro.
Tourist: Hmmm, no. What about Lion King?
TKTS booth, Leicester Square
London
England
Employee #1: Is this Sammy’s* or yours?
Employee #2: I think it’s Sammy’s.
Employee #1: I don’t want to shuffle everything off to him since he’s on vacation.
Employee #2: No, he’s not here… let’s screw him!
1400 Douglas Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Overheard by: DB
Peon: I wanted to show you this order. I think someone dropped the ball.
Sales associate: Let’s see whose order it is…Oh, it’s Ryan’s*. And he’s out this week.
Peon: Uh-oh.
Sales associate: See what happens when you go on vacation? Your balls get dropped!
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Male co-worker: I don’t understand why taking your baby on your lap in an airplane is such a bad idea.
Female co-worker: Dude, what if you crash? That can’t be safe.
Male co-worker: You’re right, I guess. Babies probably don’t make great flotation devices.
590 North Shore Drive
Milwaukee, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Ashley
Intern: I’m sorry that I didn’t turn in my time sheet on Friday. I was on vacation and didn’t have access to a computer.
Payroll official: Well, I’ll let it go this time. Just don’t keep us in lingo again.
130 Cremona Drive
Santa Barbara, California
Overheard by: A disbelieving employee
Coworker #1: How was your vacation?
Coworker #2: Good, except my boyfriend got sick. We think it was on some sushi.
Coworker #1: That’s what he gets for drinking that stuff!
150 Batson Drive
Manchester, Connecticut
Overheard by: I love this place!
HR: You miscoded your timesheets as vacation instead of holiday.
Employee: What difference does it make? It’s a day off. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: The difference is that it put you over on your vacation time for the year.
Employee: But it was a holiday. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: Do you know how many days off you have per year?
Employee: Yes, but holiday/vacation, it’s all a day off.
HR: Tell that to the employee that just got let go for miscoding time.
Employee: …I’ll fix it.
4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas
Speaker: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Attendee: Jumped off a bridge into a river in Fiji.
Speaker: Why’d you do that?
Attendee: ‘Cause Tony Robbins told me to.
481 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?
1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
