4PM Update Timesheets

HR: You miscoded your timesheets as vacation instead of holiday.
Employee: What difference does it make? It’s a day off. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: The difference is that it put you over on your vacation time for the year.
Employee: But it was a holiday. Can’t you just fix it?
HR: Do you know how many days off you have per year?
Employee: Yes, but holiday/vacation, it’s all a day off.
HR: Tell that to the employee that just got let go for miscoding time.
Employee: …I’ll fix it.

4400 Post Oak Parkway
Houston, Texas

Posted on December 11, 2023
Coworkers, Holidays, Office Politics, Texas, Vacation

2PM Seminar–Mandatory!

Speaker: What was the craziest thing you’ve ever done?
Attendee: Jumped off a bridge into a river in Fiji.
Speaker: Why’d you do that?
Attendee: ‘Cause Tony Robbins told me to.

481 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on August 15, 2023
Consultants, Coworkers, General Idiocy, New York, Questions, Vacation

1PM Lunch

Suit #1: So how have you been lately?
Suit #2: Eh, you know, overworked.
Suit #1: Yeah, same here…By the way, nice tan you’ve got there.
Suit #2: Thanks, you too.

590 Madison Avenue
New York, NY

Posted on March 25, 2023
Coworkers, New York, Questions, Suits, Time Management, Vacation

Is This One of Those Microsoft Interview Questions?

Receptionist: I’m going to Hawaii next week. If I wanted to swim under the entire island, how deep would I have to go?

1600 Utica Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota

Posted on February 27, 2023
Admins, General Idiocy, Minnesota, Questions, Receptionists, Vacation

1PM Lunch

Manager: Does anyone else hear an ice cream truck?
Office: …
Manager: I need a vacation so bad.

625 Second Street
San Francisco, California

Posted on January 22, 2023
California, Dumb Bosses, General Idiocy, Vacation

But Both Refer to Themselves in the Third Person

Office guy, complaining about his recent camping trip: Bears may do that in the woods, but Alex* does not.

Springdale, Arkansas

Posted on May 4, 2022
Animals, Arkansas, Compare and contrast, Employees, Restroom, Travel, Vacation

The Government’s Alternative to Medicare

Middle-aged woman #1: I didn’t get any vacation time this year because I was so busy with my mother.
Middle-aged woman #2: How is your mother doing? Does she have anyone to talk to? Like friends or anyone?
Middle-aged woman #1: Well, yes, but the problem is that all the 85-year-old men want is phone sex.
20-something girl: Well, there’s something to look forward to.

Midtown Building
New York City, New York

Posted on February 25, 2022
Age and ageing, Coworkers, Default, Family, Gripes, New York, On the phone, Questions, Sexuality, Time Management, Vacation

Travel Agent: You Would Not Believe What I Am Soaking This Chick For

Fat nurse: I’m real excited! I’m going to the Mexican Riviera next month.
Lanky nurse: Uh, isn’t it called the French Riviera?
Fat nurse: No, I think it’s Mexican, but you could be right — that sounds familiar.
Lanky nurse: I’ve always wanted to see the French Riviera.
Fat nurse: Yeah, me too. I can’t wait.

1st Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: dr mike