Paralegal: I hate looking at his face. Ruins my whole day.
Secretary: I know. I want to throw my shoe at him or something.
Paralegal: Ok, but can you make sure I’m there to see it?
overheard by: their boss
100 F Street
Washington, DC
Paralegal: I hate looking at his face. Ruins my whole day.
Secretary: I know. I want to throw my shoe at him or something.
Paralegal: Ok, but can you make sure I’m there to see it?
overheard by: their boss
100 F Street
Washington, DC
Telemarketing lady: There’ll be no laughing in this office. That’s right, no levitation.
121 Monmouth Street
Red Bank, NJ
Overheard by: Heidi Schwartz
Program manager: I think we should adopt the behaviours from the charter for meetings of the [Partnerships] section. [Steven], why don’t you read them out?
[Steven]: Respect other’s opinions and feelings, stay focused, turn off mobile phones, question self before others, participate enthusiastically and share experience and knowledge, have some fun….
Employee: Anyone telling me to have some fun at meetings better think again.
Elizabeth Street, Surry Hills
Sydney, Australia
Overheard by: Ness
Data center drone: God! I hate sharing workstations with the night shift. Every day when I come in, my chair smells like ass and the desk smells like armpit. Doesn’t [Tim] ever take a bath?
730 International Parkway
Richardson, Texas
Overheard by: El Gee
Employee #1: I don’t believe in God. I believe in ghosts, but not God.
Employee #2: What about aliens?
Employee #1: Oh, totally!
Boss: Don’t you guys have something more important to be doing?
Employee #2: I have about 1,000 other things to do. None of them is more important than this.
2223 East Speedway
Tucson, Arizona
Employee to uniformed employee: You working today?
UE looks down at shirt: Nope, I’m just a figment of your imagination.
1125 Woodruff Road
Greenville, South Carolina
Overheard by: Roman Fox
Employee: Is that why you broke up? No lobster, no nookie… I really didn’t mean to say that so loud.
2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick
Employee #1: Stop flinging eyedrops on me!
Employee #2: I am trying to exorcise the demons in you.
Bldg 5302 Sparkman Circle
Redstone Arsenal, Alabama
Peon #1: Why is Laura gone already?
Peon #2: She had some medical stuff done today, I believe through the rectum, so she went home.
1441 West Long Lake Road
Troy, Michigan
Temp: This person gave their email address as being at “hotmail.con”. Should I enter it as “hotmail.com”?
Employee: No, put whatever is on the application.
1776 West Lakes Parkway
West Des Moines, Iowa
