Employees

Customer: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Vietnam?
Employee: Um…no?

2063 Camden Avenue
San Jose, California

Boss: Make sure you wear something nice like that skirt you had on last weekend.
DJ: But what if it’s cold outside this weekend?
Boss: Doesn’t matter…the Army guys will pull more recruits if you broadcast in something a little revealing. Plus they paid a lot of money for this remote.

1711 Ellis Drive
Valdosta, Georgia

Overheard by: Todd McClure

Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.

8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida

Employee #1: Do you know how much these master cylinder gland nuts cost?
Employee #2: What,we are selling the gland nuts by themselves now? They are usually attached to the master cylinder…
Employee #3: I’d say gland nuts attachd to the master cylinder are priceless.

13601 FM 529
Houston, Texas

Employee #1 is fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror.

Employee #2: You look handsome today.

The toilet flushes and out comes the firm’s president.

President: Do you two want to be alone?

352 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Coordinator: Is it like really hot in here, or am I having early menopause?

150 5th Avenue
New York, NY

Salesgirl, answering the phone: Hey, it's for you.
Coworker: Who is it?
Salesgirl: Um…he said he was “naked”
Coworker: Oh, that's my husband!

Department Store
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: Odd Name

[In a crowded computer room]Female: Dude, nobody in here even likes you.
Male: I have made love to everyone in this room!

West San Antonio, Texas

Overheard by: CCRadio

Male employee #1: I am going out on a date tonight with a 4'11″ Filipina. She runs triathlons.
Male employee #2: That's short. You know, her head will be at about your stomach.
Male employee #1, after long pause: I kind of want her to break me.

Sacramento, California

Customer: I need the cold and flu meds that I have to be logged into a data base for.
Pharmacist: Well, can you tell me your symptoms?
Customer: Well, I'm sore and my head… it's like my whole head is just like… like someone sat on my face… but not in a good way.
(pharmacist gives deadpan face and goes to get meds)
Customer: You know, like a big fat person sat on my face… head. Do you take debit?

Mandeville, Louisiana

Overheard by: ShiftSuper2theSTARS