Compliments

European: Did you just use the word “impetus”? I think you’re the first American I have heard use that word.

3695 Freedom Circle
Santa Clara, California

Overheard by: bbs

Elevator-Rider #1: Hey, are you still working in homicide?
Elevator-Rider #2: Nah, I left homicide a while ago. Now I’m in sexual predators. It’s great ’cause I don’t have to be on call anymore, and I have weekends free.

King County Administration Building
Seattle, Washington

Overheard by: B

CFO: Some days I’m amazed at your talent. Other days I just feel like I have forty extra children.

312 Plum Street
Cincinnati, Ohio

Co-worker #1: That’s what I love about Jessica*; she’s always so quiet. Never complains about anything.
Co-worker #2: Yeah, and if you had a lobotomy you’d do the same thing.

25 Winthrop Street
Worcester, Massachusetts

Buyer: It’s great. We bought a ton of old Levi’s jeans dirt cheap, scuffed them up, and are selling them for two hundred dollars apiece.
Store manager: That’s genius! How much are we paying you again?

729 East Lancaster Road
Villanova, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Genevieve

Coworker on the phone: I’ve been doing the balls and it’s been working.

6412 Maple
Westminster, California

Coworker #1: Yeah, so this is what I wrote back to her. [Hands coworker #2 a piece of paper] Coworker #2: That looks fine, and you made a good argument.
Coworker #1: Yeah, and I wasn’t mean.
Coworker #2: No, not at all.
Coworker #1: Though I did sign it “Stop being a fucking moron – Sarah*.”
Coworker #2: Good call.

3350 Riverwood Parkway
Atlanta, Georgia

Overheard by: n-ro

Co-worker #1: We have so much more room in the office now, [Erin] and I can dance.
Boss: Let’s see you dance
Co-worker #2: Naw, she can’t do it without a pole.

50 Public Square
Cleveland, Ohio

Clerk: Why is there a wet floor sign on the carpet?
Supervisor: Sometimes I get excited.
Clerk: I miss working with you. You always know just what to say.

1201 Market Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Overheard by: Jessica Kalup

Cubicle #1: I just realized Monday is your birthday. You’ll be…28?
Cubicle #2: Yeah. You know, ten years ago I thought I’d be all married with kids by now. Living in Red Bank or Cheesequake or something.
Cubicle #1: Wow, thank god none of that came true.
Cubicle #2: I know.

350 Madison Avenue
New York, NY