Compliments

Girl: So Friday’s your last day?
Guy: Yeah, I’ll be working closer to home. I have an hour long drive to get here from my house.
Girl: Good thing you’ll be working closer to home. Traffic will suck your soul.

800 South Douglas Road
Coral Gables, Florida

Tech on phone: Okay, go ahead and type in your password…Yep, just type it in…In the password field…Just type it…With your keyboard…Should be right in front of you… Has letters on it…Great!

3601 SW Murray Boulevard
Beaverton, Oregon

Overheard by: onebadwebmonkey

Originator: Two charts are just great. Very helpful. Two is a lot more
than one.
VP: Yeah, it’s like twice as much.

910 Lousiana Street
Houston, Texas

Employee #1 is fixing his hair in the bathroom mirror.

Employee #2: You look handsome today.

The toilet flushes and out comes the firm’s president.

President: Do you two want to be alone?

352 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Receptionist on phone: …And you sure you don’t have the ISBN?…Oh, you do? You’re delicious!

1230 6th Avenue
New York, NY

Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.

13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia

Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn

Co-worker #1: We’re like The A-Team.
Co-worker #2: I get to be BA Baracus since I’m the only black one.

1634 Broadway
New York, NY

Co-worker #1: God! I hate it when those two have to work together! It’s so painful. It’s like watching a monkey and a dolphin try to build a house.
Co-worker #2: I think you underestimate the communication skills of wildlife.

150 Broadway
New York, NY

Chair: The beauty of this meeting is that we don’t need to make any decisions.

2000 Navy Pentagon
Washington, DC

Worker #1: Congratulations on your engagement and your new job! When is your last day?
Worker #2: Next Wednesday, thanks.
Worker #3: Are you leaving so soon because of that pooper ring on your finger?
Worker #2: “Pooper ring”?
Worker #3: Yes, you know…You had to take it in the pooper to get a ring that big.

1600 21st Street NW
Washington, DC