Illinois

Co-worker #1: Oh, you have some good supplies. Anything I can steal?
Co-worker #2: Uh, you can have some markers.
Co-worker #1: No, that’s okay; I’ve got markers up the ass.

633 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Designer: Sure I’ll take a notepad. As long as there’s not cats on the cover.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Co-worker: You know, if this office were a reality show it would be called Derm’d If You Do And Derm’d If You Don’t. I would go to the bathroom to bitch to the camera in the mirror about our shitty patients.

675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker #1: Is this the small conference room, northwest corner?
Co-worker #2: It’s the smallest one.
Co-worker #1: So that’s why they gave it the name “small conference room”?

1661 Feehanville Drive
Mount Prospect, Illinois

Trader: Happy 75th, old man! We got the pizza for your birthday.
Senior Trader: I would have rather gotten a blowjob.

30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Manager: It would be misleading of me to tell you that there was any hope of you having a job.

1919 Swift Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

Applicant: Boy, there were a lot of errors in that letter. I hope I wasn’t supposed to correct them. I was just supposed to type the letter the way it is, right?

18 North County Street
Waukegan, Illinois

Assistant on phone: One time I was in Oklahoma and I don’t know if they do this anymore but they had a prisoner rodeo! They would release bulls into a pen and the prisoners had to get $100 bills stuck in the fences. Some would die but it was cool!…I mean, not that I would go again or anything.

900 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Worker #1: That’s a great way to start the day. Talkin’ about dog farts and placentas.
Worker #2: Breakfast, anyone?

5885 11th Street
Rockford, Illinois