Producer: My friend went to the Galapagos Islands and was astounded. They have birds called blue boobies. Google “blue boobies”. You’ll see pictures of them.
Suit: I’m not searching for blue boobies on my computer. I’ll get called into the office for a talk.
Producer: Oh, I’ll do it…see?
Suit: Wow, who would have thought that would’t have brought up a porn site?

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Worker #1: That’s a great way to start the day. Talkin’ about dog farts and placentas.
Worker #2: Breakfast, anyone?

5885 11th Street
Rockford, Illinois

Front Desk: What does code 99499 mean?
Coder: “You’re a dirty whore.”
Front Desk: They have codes for that?

675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Client on speaker: I need one of those lights that you put on the camera, and a metal thing, and also the curly thing.
Rental Department: So you need a flash, a stroboframe bracket and the off-camera cord?
Client on speaker: Yeah, sure, I guess. Oh, and do you have one of these things that see the light?
Rental Department: A flash meter you mean?
Client on speaker: Sure, I guess.
Rental Department: Sir, are you the photographer?
Client on speaker: Yes, why?

1111 North Cherry Street
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker on phone: Ma’am, my language will not improve. If a mugger knocked me over the head and stole my wallet, I would speak to him pretty harshly to say the least. So don’t expect me to talk professionally to you.

1910 South Highland Avenue
Lombard, Illinois

Co-worker #1: I’m getting restless. I feel like I wanna go running or something.
Co-worker #2: It’s awful cold out there.
Co-worker #1: Well, plus, I’m wearing a suit, huh?
Co-worker #2: Ever see that movie Falling Down?

1241 South Wabash Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Employee #1: It’s disgusting. Someone left a big peice of shit floating in the toilet.
Employee #2: Speaking of shit floating, did you hear who got promoted?

425 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Rory Calhoun

Worker Bee: How many people do we have signed up so far?
Middle Manager: So far as have 35 RSTDs.
Worker Bee: Hmm, we should really stock up on more antibiotics.

1155 East 60th Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: eazy_e

Lady peon #1: Chipotle’s burritos are, like, so good!
Lady peon #2: Yeah, I know. Carol*, have you ever had one?
Carol: Uh, I’ve never been out of the country…

5813 South Kenwood Avenue
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: wow

Cubicle mate #1: Do you remember when Steve Urkel got all hot and started going as Stefan Urquelle?
Cubicle mate #2, confused: Yeah…
Cubicle mate #1: I just remembered that.
Cubicle mate #2: Ha. Did I do that?

Ontario Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: gotanycheese