Office manager in transplant center, slamming down phone: How dare he call me about heart when I have liver all over my desk?!
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wendy Booz
Office manager in transplant center, slamming down phone: How dare he call me about heart when I have liver all over my desk?!
Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Wendy Booz
Hot intern #1: You know why I love wearing miniskirts on Mondays?
Hot intern #2: Maybe. Why?
Hot intern #1: Because I can air things out after a weekend of hard work.
Hot intern #2: Oh, hey, I wonder if that would work for me…
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: not getting any
Professor: I remember that wonderful object my mother used to stick in me. [Class is silent for a moment, then hysterical.] The thermometer! One up top and one in [motions to his ass]!
Aurora, Illinois
Coworker #1: Snogging is heavily kissing… Not getting to third base.
Coworker #2: Oh. I thought snogging was a kind of drink.
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Annabelle
Coworker on phone: No, sir, I am not an idiot.
Chicago, Illinois
Boss: Oh, you met Beth* from the London office? How old did she look?
Woman on phone: Oh, well, she looked older than me, so she must in her 50s. Then again, sometimes people look older than me, but they turn out to be only 35.
Boss: Cigarette smokers.
Woman on phone: … And meth addicts.
Sears Tower
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: 22 and never doing meth
Account executive: Is child porn wrong if only children see it?
330 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Wifey on phone: Why didn’t you answer your cell phone?
Office peon: I can’t answer my cell phone! It’s in the ceiling!
Wifey: What do you mean, ‘it’s in the ceiling’?
Office peon: Exactly what you fucking think I mean! It’s in the fucking ceiling!
5900 Howard Street
Skokie, Illinois
Overheard by: Electrical Estimator
Marketing manager justifying event expenses: It costs a lot for a naked elephant ride these days. Not like it used to be.
980 North Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Lady: Hey, Derek*, will you let me paint your toenails?
Man: Will you give me a blowjob?
Lady: … Sure.
Man: Do the blowjob first.
3301 North Mulford Road
Rockford, Illinois
Overheard by: what office is this?
