Illinois

Customer: What country are you from?
Tech: I’m from England, ma’am.
Customer: Oh. Did you know Princess Diana?
Tech: No, sorry. I’m afraid I didn’t.
Customer: What about Paul McCartney?

Circuit City
Peoria, Illinois

Overheard by: Chris

Boss: Did I forget to tell you that we will be open this Monday? I decided not to close the office after all.

Employee: For what?

Boss: It’s Labor Day, and I was going to close the office, but decided not to.

Employee: It’s not Labor Day! Memorial Day is this month, but not until the end of the month.

Boss: It says right here on my calendar it’s Labor Day. I thought it was weird that Labor and Memorial Day were in the same month.

Employee: Let me see that calendar. . . Oh, for God’s sakes, do you see that M by the date?

Boss: Ummm, yeah.

Employee: That means Labor Day for Mexico!

Boss: No kidding! Wow, I feel really stupid!

Employee: Yeah, you should! Happy Labor Day, Senorita!

4302 West Crystal Lake Road
McHenry, Illinois

Overheard by: Gramma

CSR to manager: Sometimes there is a fine line between making people happy and getting them to shut up.

1300 Arlington
Itasca, Illinois

Co-worker #1: Oh, you have some good supplies. Anything I can steal?
Co-worker #2: Uh, you can have some markers.
Co-worker #1: No, that’s okay; I’ve got markers up the ass.

633 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Designer: Sure I’ll take a notepad. As long as there’s not cats on the cover.

111 East Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Hear No Evil

Co-worker: You know, if this office were a reality show it would be called Derm’d If You Do And Derm’d If You Don’t. I would go to the bathroom to bitch to the camera in the mirror about our shitty patients.

675 North St. Clair Street
Chicago, Illinois

Co-worker #1: Is this the small conference room, northwest corner?
Co-worker #2: It’s the smallest one.
Co-worker #1: So that’s why they gave it the name “small conference room”?

1661 Feehanville Drive
Mount Prospect, Illinois

Trader: Happy 75th, old man! We got the pizza for your birthday.
Senior Trader: I would have rather gotten a blowjob.

30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois

Manager: It would be misleading of me to tell you that there was any hope of you having a job.

1919 Swift Drive
Oak Brook, Illinois

Applicant: Boy, there were a lot of errors in that letter. I hope I wasn’t supposed to correct them. I was just supposed to type the letter the way it is, right?

18 North County Street
Waukegan, Illinois