Cubicle mate #1: Do you remember when Steve Urkel got all hot and started going as Stefan Urquelle?
Cubicle mate #2, confused: Yeah…
Cubicle mate #1: I just remembered that.
Cubicle mate #2: Ha. Did I do that?
Ontario Street
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: gotanycheese
Developer: Is “buttload” hyphenated?
New guy: No, I think it’s just one word.
Corner of State & Water
Peoria, Illinois
Overheard by: only girl in an office of men…
Female coworker #1: Are your poops big?
Female coworker #2: Well, I don’t exactly examine…
Female coworker #1: Well, compare your big poop to something in real life.
Female coworker #2: This is ridiculous.
Female coworker #1: No, I’m serious.
Female coworker #2: I don’t know, an egg?
Female coworker #1: How many eggs?
Female coworker #2: Three, four?
Female coworker #1: Well, my big poop is like the size of a Nalgene water bottle.
Gladstone Avenue & Galena Boulevard
Aurora, Illinois
Overheard by: Just Trying to Eat My Lunch
Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.
33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: Stubby Boardman
Lady #1: … But he’s drunk all the time.
Lady #2: Everyone’s drunk all the time. I might be drunk right now!
8140 Lehigh Avenue
Morton Grove, Illinois
Overheard by: Amanda
Sleazy office manager: She’s got it going on! I’d fuck the shit out of her in a heartbeat! Oops, I should probably close the door.
30 South Wacker Drive
Chicago, Illinois
Coworker to another: What do you want to me to say to them? A lot of my job is lying. And overcharging.
Chicago, Illinois
Female cube dweller to male cube dweller: You are soooo gonna get it tonight!
Chicago, Illinois
Visiting client, waiting for elevator: You’re right. Putting shampoo and conditioner in the same bottle *is* more economical.
(jittery laughter)
Manager: It just makes sense, you know? Why have two when you can have just one?
Coworker, after client and manager get in elevator: That was the worst example of small talk I have ever heard.
Chicago, Illinois
Office girl #1: What’s wrong?
Office girl #2, gagging: I was miming committing suicide by glue stick, and I accidentally inhaled.
N Michigan Avenue
Chicago, Illinois
Overheard by: The Temp
