Boss lady: I just don’t think thong underwear is that attractive. I mean, maybe if you’re 12 years old and tight…
Assistant: I don’t think a 12-year-old in thong underwear is attractive.
Boss lady: Well, when you’re 12, you’re tight.
Burbank, California
Boss, about former employee: She smelled like my grandmother’s underwear drawer.
Underling: Do you spend a lot of time in your grandmother’s underwear drawer?
Boss: Well, she died a while ago…
1100 Hamilton Court
Menlo Park, California
Assistant: Keith*, Melanie’s* on the phone.
Keith: Who is that?
Assistant: Your wife.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Male hippie #1 standing at printer with no paper: Aren’t you supposed to be watching this? What do I pay you for?
Male hippie #2: To shave my legs and wear the skirt.
Memphis, Tennessee
Overheard by: please no more
Suit: When Barry* is out, who should get this report?
Boss: Give it to Barry — he’s in.
Suit: When I asked Susan* I thought she said he wasn’t working today.
Boss: She’s absolutely right. But he is here today.
2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey
Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer
Sales manager: Jack* didn’t show up to work today. He probably went to an interview at another company.
VP: Is this the guy with the shoes?
Sales manager: Yep.
VP: Any dude wearing white shoes and a white belt is somewhat suspect…
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: Smiths
Manager: Yes, next week we’ll all be in Mexico.
Woman #1: I hope you are going to relax this vacation.
Manager: I feel if I don’t run around and see everything, I’m wasting the experience.
Woman #2: Let me explain something clearly to you: vacation is sex, food, sleep, more sex, more sex.
Manager: [Stunned.]Woman #2: That’s why you never come back relaxed. Sex, sex, nap, sex. Repeat that.
Garden State Mall
Paramus, New Jersey
Overheard by: Woman #3
Boss: Did you find mail in the bathroom?
Intern: Yeah, is it yours?
Boss: Yeah, I left it there on purpose.
Intern: Do you want me to put it back?
Boss: No, I’ll take it now, please.
Calgary, Alberta
Canadia
New girl: I’m excited about the new direction of the company!
Boss: Um, we try to avoid saying ‘new direction’ around here.
Bellevue, Washington
Overheard by: Amused coworker
Supervisor: You were loud.
Underling: We were just talking.
Supervisor: You were screaming.
Underling: Well, we always scream.
550 Madison Avenue
New York, New York
