Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
Boss: There’s nothing like walking to put the newspapers behind the circulation desk and looking out towards the front and having the first thing you see be the word ‘penis.’
Library
Richmond, Virginia
Office girl: This magazine says that men, on average, have sex 84 times a year.
Older math geek: Hmmm. That’s like one and a half times a week.
Office girl: What do you mean, ‘half’? There are no half-times when it comes to sex.
Older math geek: Trust me, there are.
Chantilly, Virginia
Receptionist: No, cash or check only. [Student reveals he only has nine dollars.] Hm. Do you have a 10-dollar bill?
UMW Student Accounts Office
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Guillermo
Manager to self, while cleaning store’s sign: Scrubbing the N, I’m scrubbing the N… Cleaning a T, I clean the T, that’s right… Scrubbing the A, I’m scrubbing the A… [Reaches through the center hole of the A.] Scrubbing the A-hole, cleaning out the A-hole… Wait…
Valley View Mall
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused newbie
Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Manager: At this point we’re only hiring servers who I know will do a really great job.
Waitress #1, with a wink: That’s why I was hired, right? ‘Cause you knew I’d do an awesome job?
Manager: Yes.
Waitress #2: I think I was hired because the regional manager liked me.
Manager: No, you were hired because the restaurant had just opened and we would have hired anybody.
Peppers Ferry Road
Christiansburg, Virginia
Worker on phone: It’s covered in poo — what do I do?!
Fancy chocolate store, Stony Point Fashion Park
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Yum-yum
Customer to help desk support: My gun told me to call you guys.
Airport Road
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Guy: Man, having cigarettes without a lighter is like having peanuts without the jelly!
Lady: Don’t you mean butter?
Guy: Oh, no. I got the butter.
1450 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: smoking some distance away
Worker bee: How many more times are you going to touch those?
Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
