Receptionist: No, cash or check only. [Student reveals he only has nine dollars.] Hm. Do you have a 10-dollar bill?
UMW Student Accounts Office
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Guillermo
Receptionist: No, cash or check only. [Student reveals he only has nine dollars.] Hm. Do you have a 10-dollar bill?
UMW Student Accounts Office
Fredericksburg, Virginia
Overheard by: Guillermo
Manager to self, while cleaning store’s sign: Scrubbing the N, I’m scrubbing the N… Cleaning a T, I clean the T, that’s right… Scrubbing the A, I’m scrubbing the A… [Reaches through the center hole of the A.] Scrubbing the A-hole, cleaning out the A-hole… Wait…
Valley View Mall
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Amused newbie
Coworker: Don’t close my door. Jack* and I like to communicate.
Jack: What’d you say?
Williamsburg, Virginia
Manager: At this point we’re only hiring servers who I know will do a really great job.
Waitress #1, with a wink: That’s why I was hired, right? ‘Cause you knew I’d do an awesome job?
Manager: Yes.
Waitress #2: I think I was hired because the regional manager liked me.
Manager: No, you were hired because the restaurant had just opened and we would have hired anybody.
Peppers Ferry Road
Christiansburg, Virginia
Worker on phone: It’s covered in poo — what do I do?!
Fancy chocolate store, Stony Point Fashion Park
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: Yum-yum
Customer to help desk support: My gun told me to call you guys.
Airport Road
Roanoke, Virginia
Overheard by: Alan
Guy: Man, having cigarettes without a lighter is like having peanuts without the jelly!
Lady: Don’t you mean butter?
Guy: Oh, no. I got the butter.
1450 East Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Overheard by: smoking some distance away
Worker bee: How many more times are you going to touch those?
Parham Road
Richmond, Virginia
Clerk: What is your license plate number?
Customer: Five, T like ‘Tom,’ N like ‘Knife,’ L like ‘Lion*,’ five, two, seven*.
Clerk: N like ‘knife’?
Customer: That’s right!
DMV
Virginia
Coworker on phone: I’ll meet you down at the corner. Bring me anything you have that is SpongeBobby or princessy.
East Marshall Street
Richmond, Virginia
