Old lady to young guy during naked model drawing class: Stop undressing her with your eyes!

553 Aspicuelta
São Paulo

Overheard by: the model

Staff member: I love baklava. Have you ever had the vegan baklava? It’s so good!
Grad student: I don’t think I’ve had vegan anything.
Staff member: I think it’s made from hemp or something. I wonder if it’s okay to eat it and then come to work.
Grad student: I don’t know.
Staff member, pretending to be high: You’d be like, “Woooah! Heeeey!“
Grad student, joining in: Woooooaaaaahhh!

Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: How do these people make it through college?

Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.

33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Stubby Boardman

Teacher: My birthday is tomorrow. I can’t believe I’m going to be 35!
Student teacher: I’m only 23.
Teacher: When I was 23, I was going to chapel at university while smoking pot!

Tulsa, Oklahoma

Overheard by: Really??

Trainee: This customer is mad because we won’t cover an accident that happened before he was insured with us. He won’t stop yelling!
Trainer: Ha! He’s gonna have to suck eggs on that one! Sucks for him. But seriously, go through the facts and dates with him and explain why we won’t cover it. Stay calm and apologize. You can do this!
Trainee, to customer: Thank you for holding. This… uh… Okay. My manager says you have to suck eggs, I’m sorry.

Riverview Parkway, San Diego

Male visitor: I am here because of a class that I missed due to my court case. She (points to professor) told me I could get credit if I showed her my subpoenas.

Campbell University
North Carolina

Law student #1: I can’t believe the parents in that case named their kid Adolph!
Law student #2: Uh… That case was from 1850…
Law student #1: So?

699 Exposition Boulevard
Los Angeles, California

Overheard by: TAJ

Library clerk, exiting elevator: Whooo! It stinks in there! Who just got off of the elevator?
Student worker: (silence)

Fort Worth, Texas

Professor: What’s the big deal? I don’t understand what I did wrong here.
Angry grad student: You put information in that grant that is absolutely wrong! You totally misconstrued the results!
Professor: Well…fine, but I said it was “early preliminary data,” so it should be okay.

Johns Hopkins University
Baltimore, Maryland

Overheard by: LabCat

Female grad student: I think I lost the sperm, and I’m not even sure what the sperm looks like.

Carl Icahn Laboratory, Princeton University
Princeton, New Jersey

Overheard by: my experiment’s not that fun