Student to another, after grabbing cookie from unattended table: What?! They left them out! That’s like leaving food out and not expecting the rats to come!
University
Prince George, British Columbia
Canadia
Student to another, after grabbing cookie from unattended table: What?! They left them out! That’s like leaving food out and not expecting the rats to come!
University
Prince George, British Columbia
Canadia
Teacher: That’s an interesting tattoo, Jacob*!
Student #1: Thanks.
Teacher: Are you like the tattooed man from The Great Gatsby?
Student #2, after long pause: Yo, we don’t read!
High school
Whitby, Ontario
Canadia
Overheard by: freshman whisperer
First grader #1: Miss D.*, how old are you?
23-year-old Miss D.: Well…
First grader #2: Shhh! Don’t you know you’re not supposed to ask an old lady how old she is?!
Hauppauge, New York
Overheard by: Toni
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
Student aide #1: So, what happened next?
Student aide #2: Well, I had my eyes closed, and the next thing I know my fat-ass brother is on top of me, sucking my ear.
1121 Duvall Highway
Pasadena, Maryland
Overheard by: Disturbed English Teacher
Pledge drive volunteer: Would you like to pledge to fight hunger and homelessness?
College guy: No thanks, man.
Pledge drive volunteer: How about pledging to make higher education more affordable?
College guy: Dude, homeless people don’t even go to college…
470 West 7th Street
Bloomington, Indiana
Overheard by: pledging
Student: But she did it with a chimera.
4200 Emile Street
Omaha, Nebraska
Hung-over guy on cell: I’m telling you, I didn’t rape her! She said we could have sex, right before she passed out.
On way to class
Virginia
Overheard by: I wanted to follow him and keep listening
Student: If I put more stamps on it, will it go faster? My sister’s birthday is tomorrow.
Middlebury College Mail Center
Middlebury, Vermont
Overheard by: Disgruntled Mail Worker
Sorority girl #1: It is so cold.
Sorority girl #2: I wish I was, like, Asian. You know, like, those masks they wear? Over their faces? That would be so warm.
Ohio University
Athens, Ohio
