Worker #1: Here’s a copy of the memo.
Worker #2: What’s it say?
Worker #1: Nothing. It’s absolutely useless.
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Worker #1: Here’s a copy of the memo.
Worker #2: What’s it say?
Worker #1: Nothing. It’s absolutely useless.
3900 West Alameda Avenue
Burbank, California
Co-worker: I think my computer just froze up. The mouse pointer won’t move on the screen.
Supervisor: Did you check the batteries?
1350 Massachusetts Avenue
Boston, Massachusetts
Receptionist: He’s charged with digital rape, but I don’t see how you can rape someone over the internet.
501 Latrobe Street
Melbourne, Victoria
Australia
SysAdmin: What users do you want me to move to the Gig Harbor office?
User on speaker: [Melinda] from Kirkland.
SysAdmin: I show [Melinda] as being in Reno.
User on speaker: Oh, maybe that’s her sister.
SysAdmin: Her sister is also named [Melinda]?…Hello?
User on speaker: Can I call you back on that?
8655 South Eastern Avenue
Las Vegas, Nevada
CTO: My interview article is in USA Today!
Programer: Can you send me the link? Never mind, I’ll just Google “USA Today”.
600 Newport Center Drive
Newport Beach, California
Temp: I have a few questions about the PowerPoint project that I’m trying to get my head around.
Manager: Okay.
Temp: So what do you want again?
Manager: I just want a template…Something visual that we can use over and over.
Temp: What do you want in it?
Manager: I don’t know. That’s why I want a template. So I need you to create something that looks like the department standard, with our logo and so on, the right corporate background color, with dummy copy as placeholders.
Temp: So where do I find the words you want in it?
Manager: They don’t exist yet. We’re working on that. That’s why it’s a template and not a final project.
Temp: So what do you want in all the boxes?
Manager: Nothing. Just a place so I can go in and write it. I just want a formatted background and text boxes in place.
Temp: Right, but what should I put in the text boxes?
Manager: Whatever you want.
Temp: So let me get this right: You want me to create a PowerPoint with place for different words.
Manager: Yes.
Temp: But you don’t know what the words are?
Manager: That’s why it’s a template.
Temp: I see. So I will just use one of the PowerPoint templates.
Manager: No. It needs to be in the style of the company. Those are too generic.
Temp: I’m confused.
Manager: It seems so.
Temp: Can I just do it in Word?
111 East 59th Street
New York, NY
CSR: Did you look at the fax machine?
Tech: Yes, it’s gorgeous!
203 Floral Vale Boulevard
Yardley, Pennsylvania
IT: My vibrator doesn’t work; I think it’s worn out…On my phone! On my phone! The vibrate function on my phone doesn’t work! Oh, god.
140 Research Boulevard
Madison, Alabama
Overheard by: map ref 41n 93w
Cube #1: Did you know you can type “deferred” with one hand?
Cube #2: Couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: Yeah…but you can type it with one hand.
Cube #2: Yeah…couldn’t you type any word with one hand?
Cube #1: No…I mean, it means you can type it with one hand; the letters are all within one inch of each other. D-e-f-e-r-r-e-d.
Cube #2: Oh!…I definitely spelled that wrong.
One Easton Oval
Columbus, Ohio
Editor: We don’t have time to review the files. Have the vendors send their files directly to the printer. At this point, we’re approving crap.
8787 Orion Place
Columbus, Ohio
