Software developer to web designer: Our toilets don’t flush, so we don’t need cable television anymore. This is not a metaphor.
5th Avenue
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Logic Impaired
Software developer to web designer: Our toilets don’t flush, so we don’t need cable television anymore. This is not a metaphor.
5th Avenue
Ann Arbor, Michigan
Overheard by: Logic Impaired
Customer on phone: The plug won’t fit!
IA rep: It’s okay, sir. I just need to confirm that the first device plugged into our router is either a firewall or a computer.
Customer on phone: They… They just won’t connect!
IA rep: We’re looking for an Ethernet line. Is there an Ethernet line coming out of the router? Make sure not to plug or unplug anything. It will take down your voice, too.
Customer on phone: It’s some telephone thingy… Oh, wait! This cord might work– [click].
IA rep: We got another one.
4800 Concentric Boulevard
Saginaw, Michigan
Trainer during computer training class: Now, everyone use their last name and first initial as their user name and password.
Trainee #1: I did that and it says I don’t exist.
Trainee #2: Me, too.
Trainee #3: Same here.
Trainer: Raise your hand if you don’t exist. [Almost entire class raises their hands.]Meek voice from the back: I exist.
1515 Broadway
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jas
Quality manager: Well, why doesn’t it work?
Software manager: Because we didn’t write it that way.
Redmond, Washington
Early bird #1: Our system is down.
Early bird #2: Crap. Well, that’s okay. I really didn’t feel like doing anything today, anyway.
Early bird #1: I guess maybe around eight someone in corporate will come in and get us rollin’.
Early bird #2: I don’t think they get in until 8:45.
Early bird #1: I guess we just hang out, then!
Early bird #2, going to cubicle: Actually, it’s Friday, so we probably won’t hear anything from corporate until after nine… At least we have the Internet! Wait! Oh my god, do we have the Internet?!
Early bird #1: Yup, already checked. Internet is up!
Early bird #2: We’re good, then.
8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina
Hiring manager to IT guy: We have an applicant who says he has some python under his belt, and I was wondering if there were any questions I should ask him.
6475 SW Fallbrook Place
Beaverton, Oregon
Overheard by: IT guy
Coworker: Well, we think we’ll put them on leashes at the airport, because what if they get away from us? Nobody will know who we are, and nobody will know who they are.
Beacon Hill
Boston, Massachusetts
Girl recording office voicemail: If you know the person you are wishing to enter… Shit, that’s not right.
Jubilee Road
Muncy, Pennsylvania
Tech guy: Yeah, Betty* left a Post-it at my desk because her computer was broken — it wouldn’t turn on, but then when I got there it seemed to be fine.
HR rep: Oh, she actually came to me about it so I just left the Post-it for her just in case, but I’m pretty sure the reason it wouldn’t turn on was because she was pressing the big round Dell symbol instead of the start button.
5700 Wilshire Boulevard
Los Angeles, California
Overheard by: I can turn on my computer
Clerk: Are you worried?
Rehab counselor using laptop: No. Why?
Clerk: People always look worried while they are trying to memorize the Internet.
4555 Central Avenue
Columbus, Indiana
