Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes…it’s mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
16 Petrarca Drive
Kent, Ohio
Student: Can you back up my papers and stuff?
Technician: Sure, how much is there?
Student: About four gigabytes…it’s mostly porn but there are some papers mixed in there somewhere.
16 Petrarca Drive
Kent, Ohio
Co-worker: The network people are always sending around network interruption notices telling us that the system will be down Sunday from 10-2. Like I’m working then! Besides, this is like therapy for people with BlackBerries. Free yourselves, crackberry slaves!
50 Driveway
Ottawa, Ontario
Canadia
Developer #1: Ooh, a SOAP exception.
Developer #2: “SOAP exception, unable to shower.”
1601 Chestnut Street
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania
Business Services Manager: I just sent you that logo in Word format.
Web Manager: Word isn’t really an image format, but I can probably make it work.
Business Services Manager: Well, I probably have it in another format. I think I might have it as a Giraffe.
211 Commerce Street
Nashville, Tennessee
IT #1: Okay, I’ll set up one of my extra workstations and get a wireless card for it.
IT #2: Can you get a card easily?
IT #1: Oh sure, they’re only about 50 bucks. I can get petty cash.
Manager: So we have to go through you. Why can’t [Claude] get it?
IT #2: Because I have to go through too many layers of management and red tape.
Manager: For an old computer and a $50 card?
IT #1: Yeah, this place is like a prison. It’s all about who can trade cigarettes for a sharp shiv.
Manager: Or who’s around when you drop the soap…
525 Rudder Road
Fenton, Missouri
Engineer: Man, I can’t write code today. Someone must have stole my
talent.
Manager: That would be petty theft.
8000 West Sunrise Boulevard
Plantation, Florida
Engineer: It’s probably a computer that likes to see abstract choices.
Translated from the Dutch.
10 Wissenstraat
9200 Dendermonde
Belgium
Overheard by: Bart Verhofstadt
Developer #1: It’s obvious the code will work. You’ve coded, you can see it will work. You can see it will work, unless you’re stupid.
Developer #2: You’re not stupid, are you?
501 Marquette Avenue
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Overheard by: fmm
Boss: We will be taken off the internet. It is slowing down productivity.
5 minutes pass.
Worker #1: …What will I do all day?
Worker #2: Work.
Worker #1: Ha, ha! Whatever.
3275 Steinway Street
Astoria, New York
Worker #1: So how is the database server test going?
Junior Manager: Great! That new machine is going like gang bangers!
Worker #2: He, he…”gang bangers”.
Junior Manager: Damn! You know what I meant.
Worker #1: Well…I guess they do work pretty hard.
13571 Commerce Parkway
Richmond, British Columbia
Canadia
Overheard by: Richard Shoehorn
