Project manager, regarding principal of firm: He has been driving around with his windshield wipers on because he can’t figure out how to turn them off, do you really think he will understand this?

98th & Broadway
New York City, New York

Co‐worker #1: Wow! That’s the longest email I’ve ever gotten from a customer.
Co‐worker #2: Really? What is it?
Co‐worker #1: [Kateunderscorelee]
Co‐worker #2: That’s not long…Oh! Um, do you know what an “underscore” is? You don’t spell it out.

1001 Roeder Avenue
Bellingham, Washington

Overheard by: Chris Shard

Disgruntled teacher: Well, we need advance notice when the file server’s going to be down, especially when we work on final exams and stuff.
Principal: Duly noted.
Tall teacher: And ignored.

Hancock, New York

Coworker #1: Yo, I need a shredder for all my junk mails that I get. I get mad junk mail at home.
Coworker #2: You print out all your junk e‑mail?!

27th Street and 6th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Michael

Sales girl: But I sent you an electronic e‑mail!

Middleboro, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Mikey

Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.

Washington, DC

Coworker to tech support: All I did was stick it in and now I can’t get it out. I hate fucking computers!


Overheard by: Tim

CSR: Ma’am, my system is backed up and my computer is going down on me. 

300 Rosewood Drive
Danvers, Massachusetts

Student: Voldemort is like Bill Fates. He’s good at marketing, but he didn’t actually come up with Windows.

33 East Congress
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Stubby Boardman

Female staffer #1: Yeah, we need to get us a gas‐powered hedge trimmer.
Male staffer: Yeah, we have an electric, but it’s battery‐operated. And the battery only lasts about ten minutes, so it’s like Extreme Speed Trimming. We have to get to that bush fast before the battery runs out.
Female staffer #2: Are y’all talking about vibrators?
Male staffer: Uh, well, sort of, except this one has teeth that chop long skinny things in half.
Female staffer #2: Oooh, kinky! Where’d you get it?

10 Medical Center Boulevard
Winston‐Salem, North Carolina