Technology

Customer: I’m looking for one of those things where I can plug it into my TV’s video and plug like four video game systems into it and push a button to switch between them.
Employee: Yeah, I don’t think we sell those.
Customer, picking up item: I’m looking for this.
Employee: Oh, we don’t sell those.
Customer: You… don’t… sell these?
Employee: No.
Customer: You’re sure?
Employee: Yeah, we definitely don’t sell those.
Customer: You don’t sell these? This thing that I picked up off your rack with a price tag on it?
Employee: No. Circuit City might carry them, though.

Best Buy
Astoria, New York

Stylist on phone: Oh, I gave you the wrong phone number…. So is that like a fact-smile? A fact-smile. It says here the fact-smile number is 312-555-1234*.

South Loop
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: waiting for a haircut

Speaker on fax machine: Listen, you freakin’ idiot, this is the third time in five minutes you’re tryin’ to fax something to a phone number.
Employee in adjacent cubicle, two minutes later: Yeah, hi, this is the freakin’ idiot… [loud squelching]… shit, now I dialed their fax number.

Georgesville Road
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: laughing in next cubicle

Division manager: I’ve played with it enough, it outta work by now.

Mechanicsville, Virginia

Overheard by: Alan

CSR on speakerphone: Hey, when am I going to get my email fixed? I have things that I need to send out to clients.
IT guy: Oh, yeah, we sent you an email requesting some more information. We need you to send that email back before we can fix your issue…Hello? Are you sending that email?

CSR disconnects the call.

CSR: I’m going on break now.

1616 27th Avenue NE
Calgary, Alberta, Canada

Desk clerk on phone: No, ma’am, you don’t need a cable for the wireless network.

328 West Lane Avenue
Columbus, Ohio

Overheard by: Amused, if I wasn’t dealing with the same idiot

Assistant: Do I need to do anything with this e-mail to Karen*?
Sales guy: No.
Assistant: Okay, I’m going to just drop it over into her folder and move on.
Sales guy: Okay, that’s up to you.
Assistant: I save everything.
Sales guy: I like to delete. If I know you’ve saved it, I just delete it.
Assistant: Yeah, but what if my computer bursts into flames? Or what if I quit?
Sales guy: You? Quit? [laughs]Assistant: You shouldn’t laugh…
Sales guy: Oh.

8220 England Street
Charlotte, North Carolina

Suit: Help desk? My computer went down on me.
Tech support: Please hold on. [Places suit on speaker phone] Can you repeat that?
Suit: My computer went down on me!
Tech support, with entire support team laughing in the background: So, what’s the problem?

3 2nd Street
Jersey City, New Jersey

Overheard by: Hobo Whisperer

VP, using Instant Messenger: How do I type a smiley face that means, “I’ll cut you.”

550 Madison Avenue
New York, New York

Old-man employee: I am having problems with e-mail.
IT guy: What’s wrong?
Old-man employee: I have got thousands of e-mails in my inbox and cannot send anything out ’cause I think the virus that is causing me to get all these e-mails is going to be spread to others.
IT guy: You don’t have a virus.
Old-man employee: But I have thousands of e-mails. But I guess they are beautiful to watch.

Raleigh, North Carolina

Overheard by: Alyn