Engineer #1: If you flush the toilet, you lose water pressure?! So it’s like, “Sorry, the dishwasher is running. We have no fire protection.”
Pause.
Engineer #2: Who flushes the toilet if their house is on fire?
700 West Capitol Avenue
Little Rock, Arkansas
Five maintenance engineers stand staring at a window with rain pouring down on the inside of the glass.
Engineer: If we all knew about this, why didn’t we fix it?
6th and Sycamore
Cincinnati, Ohio
Overheard by: Alice
Receptionist: What did you think of that visiting speaker? He was kinda cute!
Engineer: What a dork!
Receptionist: So he was a dork by dork standards? Wow!
ASU Engineering Center
Tempe, Arizona
Project Engineer: If you expect me to do quality work I’m going to need a raise.
10 West Mifflin Street
Madison, Wisconsin
Project Engineer: We have relatively clear instructions, kind of.
4170 Santa Fe Road
San Luis Obispo, California
Engineer: It’s probably a computer that likes to see abstract choices.
Translated from the Dutch.
10 Wissenstraat
9200 Dendermonde
Belgium
Overheard by: Bart Verhofstadt
Female program manager: You got a sec?
Male program manager: I have lots of secs.
(pause)
Engineer: He means he has a lot of time.
Utah
Overheard by: Snickering Intern
Admin: Do you need help with anything?
Engineer: Nobody ever asks that here. What are you up to?
Anchorage, Alaska
Overheard by: Overworked
Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.
Dallas, Texas
Engineer: Don’t kill anyone.
Tech Writer: Can I maim them?
Engineer: Yeah. If you maim them you seem like more of a team player.
1550 Buckeye Drive
Milpitas, California
