10AM Translation Services

Engineeron phone to production guy: Let me call you back. I might have someone check the Mandarin label for correctness.
. . .
Engineer on phone to production guy: Yeah, Pei* can come by tomorrow at 8:00am to check the label. Is that OK?
Production guy: No.
Engineer: Oh, is that a problem?
Production guy: Yeah, there are a lot of much better looking Chinese girls in the building.
Engineer: Uh…You are on speaker phone.
Three-second silence.
Production guy: Well uh yeah, that should be fine.

800 Beaty Street
Davidson, North Carolina

Posted on October 27, 2017
Engineers, General Idiocy, Language barrier, North Carolina, Physical Appearance, Possible Sexual Harassment, Southeast

Why “Hawaiian Shirt Fridays” Lasted Only a Week

Engineer, walking through cube farm: Wooo! Wooooooooooooooooooo! Surf's up!

Redondo Beach, California

Overheard by: Trappedinthebasement

Posted on October 6, 2017
California, Cubicles, Engineers, General Idiocy, Sports

10AM Budgeting Meeting

Engineer: Let me guess, are you going to put on your “MBA Hat”?
Supervisor: How about I put my “Foot Hat” in your “Butt Hat”?

500 North Gulph Road
King of Prussia, Pennsylvania

Posted on May 26, 2017
Engineers, Executives, Pennsylvania, Threats

Number Fours Are When a Baby Comes Out

Engineer: Damn, I'm tired. I was up all night with a case of the number threes.
VP: Number threes?
Engineer: You know, when you think you have to go number two, but actually you have to puke in the bathtub.

Paterson, New Jersey

Posted on January 18, 2017
Bosses, Engineers, Health & Hygiene, New Jersey, Questions, Restroom, Weirdness

3PM Easter Party

VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that.

900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota

Posted on October 10, 2016
Bosses, Engineers, Holidays, Meals and Snacks, Minnesota, Questions

1PM Lunch

Enginee: I’m gonna beat you up!
Senior Engineer: What are you going to do, beat my chin up with your nuts?

117 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts

Overheard by: Fat French Kid

Posted on September 29, 2016
Body Parts, Comebacks, Engineers, Massachusetts, Threats

Engineers Are Notoriously Hedgehogeronormative

Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad?

Coolidge, Arizona

Posted on June 21, 2016
Arizona, Body Parts, Engineers, Health & Hygiene, Physical Appearance, Questions

Save That Kind Of Good Stuff for the Board Meetings

VP: What's the name of the company I'm thinking of? We've got a job with them.
Engineer: Starts with…?
VP: A. A something. Aaaaaaa…
Engineer: Ass-fuckers anonymous?
VP, quietly: Ass-fuckers anonymous… Ass…
Engineer: Yeah, AFA, but trust me, it's not that. I just made that up.
VP, very loudly: Ass-fuckers anonymous!?
Engineer: Dude, can you not yell “ass-fuckers anonymous” when I'm in your office?

Paterson, New Jersey

Posted on June 1, 2016
Body Parts, Dumb Bosses, Engineers, Insults, New Jersey, Offers and requests, Questions, Sexuality, Words

…Because I've Been Dying to Try Out This New Taser!

Older salesman to younger engineering draftsman having a meltdown: Are you potentially going to go postal on us?

Birmingham, Alabama

Overheard by: Stefanie

Posted on May 29, 2016
Alabama, Engineers, Questions, Sales, Weirdness