VP: This’ll be the director’s Easter present to you.
Coordinator: Oh, you mean I don’t get any eggs this year?
VP: No, you don’t.
Coordinator: Well, can you at least hide it so I can find it?
VP: Yes, we can do that.
900 Simpson Street
St. Paul, Minnesota
Enginee: I’m gonna beat you up!
Senior Engineer: What are you going to do, beat my chin up with your nuts?
117 South Street
Hopkinton, Massachusetts
Overheard by: Fat French Kid
Engineer #1 to #2: What the hell is up with your hair?
Engineer #2: Nothing, leave me alone!
Boss to engineer #2: Don't you shower? You look like a bush hog.
Engineer #1: Yeah, you look like a bush hog.
Engineer #2: Of course I showered. I washed my hair last night. Leave me alone. What the hell is a “bush hog”?
Engineer #3: A homosexual hedgehog.
Engineer #2: Does my hair really look that bad?
Coolidge, Arizona
VP: What's the name of the company I'm thinking of? We've got a job with them.
Engineer: Starts with…?
VP: A. A something. Aaaaaaa…
Engineer: Ass-fuckers anonymous?
VP, quietly: Ass-fuckers anonymous… Ass…
Engineer: Yeah, AFA, but trust me, it's not that. I just made that up.
VP, very loudly: Ass-fuckers anonymous!?
Engineer: Dude, can you not yell “ass-fuckers anonymous” when I'm in your office?
Paterson, New Jersey
Senior engineer: And just when everybody is about to explode…bam! Ice cream!
Albany, New York
Utilities engineer: I have gas, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world.
618 E. South St.
Orlando, Florida
Engineer #1: What the hell were you thinking when you wrote this code?
Engineer #2: Boobs.
Engineer #1: Huh?!
Engineer #2: Truthfully, it’s likely I was thinking about boobs.
Columbia, Maryland
Engineer: So, did you enjoy your Cinco de Mayo?
Secretary: Um. I was in Rhode Island for the weekend…
Engineer: Yeah, so?
Secretary: Ever been?
Engineer: Yeah, couple of times… what’s your point?
Secretary: Heh. Rhode Island is like the white-bread capital, at least the part where I go is.
Engineer: Okaayyy… so there was no Cinco de Mayo celebration?
Secretary: Dude, lemme put it this way for ya: It’s so damn white up there, they have white gardeners. Mexicans are like freakin’ nonexistant up there. And don’t even get me started on the nonexistance of black people. Hell, the last time I saw a black person while I was up there was the one we brought with us. . .and she kept singin’ “Massa got me workin'” just to freak the rest of the whities out.
One Penn Plaza
New York, New York
Overheard by: *snicker*
IT staff to engineer on phone: If you follow the document I sent you, you will be able to complete the web page.
Engineer: I can't read.
Silicon Valley, California
