Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Suit: I’d do it just to say I had hair on my ass.
385 3rd Avenue
New York, New York
Teacher #1: So, I went to my gynecologist yesterday, and he told me I had an exceptionally nice vagina.
Teacher #2: Oh, that was nice of him.
214 Race Street
Middletown, Pennsylvania
Overheard by: poor student who wanted to ask a question
Dad’s friend: So, your daughter turns 34 tomorrow?
Dad: Yeah, I sent her a card.
Dad’s friend: What does it say?
Dad: ‘Happy Birthday, Sweetie. You’ve finally grown into your bra size.’
Prudential Plaza
Chicago, Illinois
Guy: How are you going to tell your mom that you didn’t do your homework because you have a gorilla fetish?
Girl: It’s not a fetish, I’m just curious about their… stuff.
Guy: It’s still fucked up.
Washington Avenue Bridge, University of Minnesota
Minneapolis, Minnesota
Woman to friend: I’m so going to hit you in the vagina for that!
950 Mission Street
San Francisco, California
Coworker on phone: And I like them already, they seem pretty cool. Nothing like starting my day with a cute chick showing me her boob.
Alpharetta, Georgia
Overheard by: i wanna see!
Female employee: Are you limping?
Male employee: Yeah, I tore my ass muscle again.
Female admin: Just stop right there, I don’t want to hear anymore.
84 Newbury Street
Peabody, Massachusetts
Coworker #1: Well one time, I was eating here, and I found a piece of metal in my mouth! You know, a long thin piece. But bunched up. I chewed on it and it like exploded in my mouth. In my mouth! Can you believe it? It was all twisted or something. Coiled. Oh yeah. It was a spring! A spring! Anyway, I chewed on it and it like boinged in my mouth. Wait, wait, wait. Can you believe it? Boing, boing, boing! So I spit it out and look at it and think, ‘What the hell is this and what is it doing in my food?’ But really, can you believe it? Boinging all over the place!
Coworker #2: Ok. Enough already. You’re making me sick. It’s like having lunch with Roseanne Roseannadanna. Next you’ll be telling me about the time you found a toenail in your cheeseburger.
Coworker #1: Oh yeah. Wouldn’t that be great? Lunch with Roseanne. But she’s dead, you know. Cancer.
Coworker #2: Gilda Radner died of cancer.
Coworker #1: Who? Why are you always changing the subject?
Coworker #2: I’m eating at my desk.
1500 University Avenue
Madison University Hospital & Clinics Cafeteria
Madison, Wisconsin
Overheard by: Just lost my appetite
Creative director: It’s so cold in here, my rock-hard nipples are chafing on my shirt. Can I claim workman’s comp for that?
Radio station
Ottawa, Ontario, Canada
Overheard by: it really is cold in here
Guy: Facedown in cement… it just doesn’t do you any good.
Applied Physics Lab
Maryland
Overheard by: scared
