Sexuality

Female worker about to take a walk: You sure you don’t want to go with me?
Male worker: No.
Female worker: I’ll go topless.

515 North State Street
Chicago, Illinois

Overheard by: Glad I’m not leaving my cube for another hour

Boss cleaning office: Oh, look. I found my whip.

83 East 4th Street
New York, NY

Admin: Do you know who dropped this off?
Manceptionist: No
Admin: Well, then do you know what they looked like?
Manceptionist: An old white lady with curly hair.
Admin: Are you sure she wasn’t a black man, because Allan* said it was a forty-year-old black guy.
Office manager: Not unless he rolled himself in baby powder before he came in here.
Manceptionist: No. The black guy dropped off a manilla envelope and the old lady dropped off that.
Admin: This is a manilla envelope.
Manceptionist: Oh, then yeah the black guy dropped it off.
Allan: Well the black guy was definitely more attractive.
Office manager: And now we know which way you swing.

3520 Lancaster Avenue
Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

Secretary: So, the next time you shut the door to take one of your sex calls, I’m going to nail it closed!

311 Main Road
Point Mugu, California

Overheard by: mookie

Secretary: Why are these reports formatted so weird?
Boss: Well, because the Germans made them. Those Germans are weird.
Secretary: Hey, now… Be careful, I’m German.
Boss: Uh oh, you’re not a lesbian too, are you?
Secretary: Well, I’m not really German.

Main Street Financial Office
East Hartford, Connecticut

Employee: Is that why you broke up? No lobster, no nookie… I really didn’t mean to say that so loud.

2 Charlotte Street
Sackville, New Brunswick

Male employee: I was sitting at my desk and I was thinking “There’s something missing.” And I was like, “Oh yeah! Nuts in my mouth.”

1111 Lockheed Martin Way
Sunnyvale, California

Co-worker #1: How do people get mirrors to stay on the ceiling?
Co-worker #2: Not sure.
Co-worker #3: We used rubber cement. We put up a few four foot square mirrors, without frames.
Co-worker #1: Rubber cement? Did it hold good?
Co-worker #3: They’ve stayed up for four years, but my husband is too afraid to have sex without being covered with a blanket. He thinks they might fall and cut his dick off.

4150 Belden Village Street NW
North Canton, Ohio

Overheard by: Kyosho

Co-worker #1: Did you see the thing in the parking lot this morning?
Co-worker #2: No, what is it?
Co-worker #1: A huge dildo.
Co-worker #2: Did it fall out of someone’s car?

1504 53rd Avenue West
Bradenton, Florida

Office Worker: This file won’t unzip! Unzip, you! Dammit, unzip!
Supervisor: You should try sweet talking it a little bit. Maybe you should buy it dinner first.

105 North Hudson Avenue
Oklahoma City, Oklahoma