Coworker on phone: I don’t want to know, dude. It’s like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don’t want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.
Boca Raton, Florida
Coworker on phone: I don’t want to know, dude. It’s like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don’t want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.
Boca Raton, Florida
Marketing manager: Do you want some vegan nuts?
Operations wonk (after long pause): I don’t think you should ever say that to me again.
Rockville, Maryland
Overheard by: Septimus
Cube guy #1: Yeah, you should go to the overseas office if you get a chance, they treat you real nice there.
Cube guy #2: Really?
Cube guy #1: Yeah, they were real good to me.
Cube guy #2: Yeah? They give you the reach‐around?
Supervisor, walking by on the way to his office: What?
Austin, Texas
Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.
Austin, Texas
Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.
1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama
Manager: Yeah, so at this new salon I can get my hair highlighted for $120, and that includes the shampoo, haircut, and blow job.
Bethesda, Maryland
Vice‐president #1, to vice‐president #2: Now all we need is a bong and multiple partners!
37th Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York
Overheard by: Jenn
Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.
Washington, DC
Male boss, on phone with male contractor: I’m tellin’ ya, man. I need nine inches!
Wentzville, Missouri
Graphic designer looking at logo: Looks like a free hand job to me.
England
Overheard by: Johnny Bystander
