Sexuality

Male sales rep, about client meeting: So, I heard you were out with a bunch of guys.
Female sales rep: Yeah, four of them!
Male sales rep: Wow, you need a towel?

Omaha, Nebraska

Female med student, yawning: Wow, am I tired!
Male med student: Oh, yeah, I'm really hot and bothered too!
(female med student stares)
Male med student: Oh, wait… That's not what you said, is it?
Female med student: No. That is not what I said.

Warren, Michigan

Overheard by: Emily

Coworker on phone: I don't want to know, dude. It's like if the condom broke with a skank… I really don't want to think about the pregnancy, or if she has the herpes, until she gets a tummy or I get a cold sore.

Boca Raton, Florida

Marketing manager: Do you want some vegan nuts?
Operations wonk (after long pause): I don't think you should ever say that to me again.

Rockville, Maryland

Overheard by: Septimus

Cube guy #1: Yeah, you should go to the overseas office if you get a chance, they treat you real nice there.
Cube guy #2: Really?
Cube guy #1: Yeah, they were real good to me.
Cube guy #2: Yeah? They give you the reach-around?
Supervisor, walking by on the way to his office: What?

Austin, Texas

Comics editor: I already got consent, now all I need to do is find a gas station.

Austin, Texas

Office worker on speakerphone: Hello.
Creepy customer: I was just sitting here eating some creamed corn and thinking about you so I thought that I would give you a call.
Office worker: Please hold and I will transfer you to my supervisor.

1st Avenue
Birmingham, Alabama

Manager: Yeah, so at this new salon I can get my hair highlighted for $120, and that includes the shampoo, haircut, and blow job.

Bethesda, Maryland

Vice-president #1, to vice-president #2: Now all we need is a bong and multiple partners!

37th Street and 7th Avenue
New York, New York

Overheard by: Jenn

Accounting coworker: Nothing gets me hotter than a pivot table with five attributes.

Washington, DC