Suit #1: All my clients complain that the questionnaire package we require is too onerous.
Suit #2: Really? I never get any complaint about ours.
Boss: Well, have you ever seen his package? Maybe you two should get together and compare packages.
245 3rd Avenue
New York, NY
Cube guy #1: Yeah, you should go to the overseas office if you get a chance, they treat you real nice there.
Cube guy #2: Really?
Cube guy #1: Yeah, they were real good to me.
Cube guy #2: Yeah? They give you the reach‐around?
Supervisor, walking by on the way to his office: What?
Austin, Texas
Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.
Friendly’s Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey
Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.
Pennsylvania
Overheard by: ReRo
Co‐worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co‐worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.
4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia
Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!
123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont
Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’
1111 Broadway
Oakland, California
Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That’s why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.
Dallas, Texas
Co‐worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co‐worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.
535 8th Avenue
New York, NY
Overheard by: Angie Rowe
Boss to newbie: Yay! So, tomorrow’s Casual Friday, so you don’t have to wear a tie. I usually wear shorts. You know, you can get away with a lot of casual clothing, but a certain dress code does still apply. You’ve got to wear a shirt… Although, so far no one has tried a wife beater. Hey, that’d be a way for you to make a name for yourself!
Glastonbury Boulevard
Glastonbury, Connecticut
