Advice

Manager: Go home every day and watch Dukes of Hazzard. Problem solved.

Friendly's Ice Cream
Convent Station, New Jersey

Guy in next cube: In my opinion, a chimney is no place to raise a family.

Pennsylvania

Overheard by: ReRo

Co-worker #1: Hey, look at this expense report. It says he took $50
cab rides everyday and he has no receipts! He’s milking us.
Co-worker #2: Wow! But don’t say that to our boss. She’s Jewish too.

4301 N. Fairfax Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Help Desk #1: Who should we send?
Help Desk #2: Let’s send [Jessica].
Help Desk #3: She’s perfect.
Help Desk #2: Of course, she’s female.
Help Desk #1: Yeah, she’s very female!

123 Pitkin Road
Plainfield, Vermont

Office grunt: … So then I said, ‘Bill*, just throw a bunch of monkeys in a container and have them eat all the bananas.’

1111 Broadway
Oakland, California

Engineer on phone to pumper: You gotta have the sucking and the blowing. (pause) Does he have liquid? (pause) That's why you gotta keep on blowing and sucking. (pause) Yeah, great, thanks.

Dallas, Texas

Co-worker on phone: When you get out of the subway station start walking North–
Manager: Don’t tell them that…your North is different from my North and it’s a tarantula downpour outside. You don’t want them walking the wrong way in the rain.
Co-worker: Everyone’s North is the same and it’s torrential downpour.
Manager: Everyone’s North is the same? I always get my Norths mixed up.

535 8th Avenue
New York, NY

Overheard by: Angie Rowe

Boss to newbie: Yay! So, tomorrow’s Casual Friday, so you don’t have to wear a tie. I usually wear shorts. You know, you can get away with a lot of casual clothing, but a certain dress code does still apply. You’ve got to wear a shirt… Although, so far no one has tried a wife beater. Hey, that’d be a way for you to make a name for yourself!

Glastonbury Boulevard
Glastonbury, Connecticut

Coworker to another: Wiggle it and I'll tell you which one it is.

Chesapeake, Virginia

Geek: I hate to break it to you, but surfers don’t wear coats.

William Street
New York City, New York

Overheard by: Misanthropic Scott