Advice

GM: So, how are you doing?
Clerk: Well, I was almost fired today, so, you know, I’ve been crying a lot.
GM: You know what? You should really be having fun out here! Try to have a little fun out here!
Clerk: [Blinks.]GM: Okay! Now I have to go coach Little League!

Howe Street
Vancouver, British Columbia
Canadia

Action officer: It’s just not the most important undertaking we have, so I’m not going to kill myself to get it done.
Admin assistant: I disagree. I always think you should kill yourself.

Pentagon, 1490 Boundary Channel Drive
Arlington, Virginia

Overheard by: Propagandist

Two-year-old girl singing: Get the money, get the beer, get the money, get the beer…

Dressing room, Fashion Q
Granada Hills, California

Overheard by: Saucy

Coworker: You know, they really need to make more Queen Latifah movies.

4501 East Virginia Avenue
Glendale, Colorado

Suit: We need to start putting our meat in someone else’s box.

401 Merritt 7
Norwalk, Connecticut

Girl employee: Ouch.
Guy employee: Oh, sorry. Okay, it’s not going to work from the front, let’s try it from behind.

14225 Newbrook Drive
Chantilly, Virginia

Golfer to coworker: I’m lucky I’m ambidextrous — great for my game.
Woman: You want to be careful — I know someone who died of that.

Finance Centre
Dublin
Ireland

Large coworker: What you do is you split the Krispy Kreme in half and grill it, then put the cheeseburger on it, and I swear, it’s the best way to have it.

Capitol Hill
Washington, DC

Overheard by: Jessica

Man: Why are you allowing a day spa? I didn’t think you allowed day spas in this town. When you have day spas you attract people who get facials, and we don’t want those kinds of people in this town!

Redlands City Hall
Redlands, California

Coworker on phone: Can I ask you something off-topic? If a family pet dies, how long can you keep it in the freezer?

Frances Avenue
Lancaster, Pennsylvania